Photo from @lightworkerslounge
Welcome to another round of interviews lovely followers! I absolutely love love love doing the interviews because it gets all of you involved and my readers can gather some other opinions and perspectives on love, sex, life etc. that aren't mine. I think this is an important and inspiring way to widen the wisdom of this sex blog. PLUS I have heard from those who participated that this is a healing, exciting and/or beautiful experience for them to sit down with a cup of coffee and answer all these questions. So here they are, all the lovely ladies and women-identifying people who opened up and shared their experience with womanhood, self-love and sex!
These interviews are vulnerable and honest; I suggest reading them when you can take the time to sit down and really reflect and enjoy the answers. Whether thats on a train to work, in the bath with a glass of red, or in bed with a cup of tea. I hope that even my younger cousins can one day look through these interviews and that a discussion will be opened for them on the experience of womanhood, something we all could talk about a little more.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who took the time to share and to everyone who's taking the time to read, I love you <3
Alex, 29, from Portland, Oregon
What does being a “woman” mean to you?
My sense of being a woman is an amalgamation of all the women I've ever known. I feel powerful because I know that the women I know derive strength from their vulnerability, ability to take care of others and themselves simultaneously, to carry the burdens of many, to feel and to embrace challenge, and still walk with kindness and grace. What the women I know have been able to do is almost incomprehensible, and it's incredibly empowering.
When do you feel the most sexy and/or comfortable in your body?
After exercising. When I'm with some of my best girlfriends. When I'm naked with my partner. Right after sex.
Describe a woman you know or admire, who for you embodies true self-love and sexual empowerment (you don’t have to name them if you don’t want to). If this woman is you, describe yourself.
My friend Sami. She has always been comfortable in her own skin, even since we were kids. Her confidence and comfort makes you feel comfortable around her. Never competitive. Never one to nit-pick her own body. Always walking around, wearing her body like she's damn proud.
Do you think it’s hard in this world to exist as “woman”?
It's an uphill battle, but one that we are uniquely equipped for. We can withstand an amazing amount of shit.
How do you practice self-care?
Putting myself first. Not in a selfish way, but being aware of how I'm feeling and prioritizing my own health and well being because I know it's what I need to be my best for others.
How do you practice self-love?
If I ever feel badly about myself, I think about active ways to be better and give myself room to make mistakes. I know I'll always have room for improvement so giving myself room to improve is important and then acknowledging what is great about me regularly is also helpful.
How does another woman’s beauty make you feel? Empowered? Threatened? Jealous? Why? Mostly, it doesn't reflect on me at all. I love women's beauty. I find it much more interesting to look at women than at men. There's often so much more subtlety and choice and attention to detail that I appreciate. Sometimes it's inspiring. I think about how I'm probably equally as pretty, but if I did my makeup that way how it might help me present myself at that same level to the rest of the world.
Do you think competition exists between women?
Yes, but I don't experience it nearly as often as it's depicted in media or as many men assume. It also depends on the women you surround yourself with. I genuinely think that my friends all want the best for each other.
How do you feel about the rise in popularity of fillers, lip injections, hair removal, eyelash lifts, etc.?
I hope that I never feel the need to take that route. I'd rather no one feel like they needed it.
What is the most beautiful sex you’ve ever had? Why?
I like when there's an emotional component to it, like you just had a conversation with that person or an experience that made you feel really close and the sex is just an expression of that.
What makes you feel free during sex?
Not feeling uncomfortable with my IUD. Being clean. Having worked out recently. Not having to worry about people you know hearing noises.
What turns you on?
Watching other people have sexual tension or interactions.
How in touch are you with your period? (If you have one). Are you happy with the materials that exist for periods? (Tampons, diva cup, thinx)
I don't have one much since I've had an IUD. I used Think last and really liked it.
If you could describe WOMEN in three words what would they be?
Resilient. Beautiful. Connected.
What do you fucking love about being a woman?
I love being able to find my tribe anywhere I go who can relate to my experience, who inspire me with how well they can thrive in the midst of bullshit, and who I genuinely find to rise to a level higher than that of most men by being about to grapple with their depths.
Chey, 24, from Boise, Idaho
What does being a “woman” mean to you?
To be a walking contradiction. I am soft but I am resilient. Overly emotional but capable of anything. A mother but also a sexual deviant.
When do you feel the most sexy and/or comfortable in your body?
When I eat really clean, when I do the dishes in lingerie, and when I get a new tattoo.
Describe a woman you know or admire, who for you embodies true self-love and sexual empowerment (you don’t have to name them if you don’t want to). If this woman is you, describe yourself.
100% you, Clarke. I tell you all the time but you never cease to amaze and inspire me! You can be vulnerable and relatable while also being powerful and serving as a great reminder to your friends and or readers that it is healthy to continue to evolve your sexuality and to never push it to the background. (Clarke here-- absolutely an HONOR to be admired by this woman whom I personally look up to and admire in all the best ways, she's a FIERCE woman and mama)
Do you think it’s hard in this world to exist as “woman”?
I think it’s hard to exist, period.
How do you practice self-care?
Always drinking good coffee, allowing myself to try again tomorrow if I mess up today, and by refusing to ever fake an orgasm ever again.
How do you practice self-love?
Dancing around the house in my underwear whenever I feel low, locking myself in the bathroom when I shower at night so I can actually relax.
How does another woman’s beauty make you feel? Empowered? Threatened? Jealous? Why?
This is a hard question, the only one I almost considered not answering because my answer isn’t what I wish it was. I love women, I’ve dated women, I love having female friends and I would never try to put anyone down. However, I find myself struggling with my insecurities so much some days that it makes me sad to see such effortlessly beautiful women, I know I’m not the only one who finds myself continually comparing myself to others. Self acceptance is a journey, not a destination.
Do you think competition exists between women?
I definitely think it exists, I think competition is human nature, but I also think we are working away from that.
How do you feel about the rise in popularity of fillers, lip injections, hair removal, eyelash lifts, etc.?
Speaking from the perspective of someone who has had many of these procedures, I think it’s sad that some of us feel like we HAVE to do these things to be loved. However I also know first hand how amazing it feels to be able to change something about yourself that has made you insecure every time you have ever looked in a mirror. It’s a slippery slope but at the end of the day life is too fucking short, do what makes you happy.
What is the most beautiful sex you’ve ever had? Why?
I have had so much beautiful sex, how do you pick just one experience! To name one, the first time my husband and I had sex after I had our first baby. I was so scared but I just couldn’t stand waiting anymore, I finally had my body all to myself and I wanted to feel connected to my husband in that way again. The fear, how gentle he was, the communication between the two of us, it felt like I was 14 losing my virginity all over again in the best way. It brought back the mystery and innocence.
What makes you feel free during sex?
When I am able to push past the fear of judgement and actually get out of my head, those fuck it moments. The “fuck it I’ll do it myself” moments or the “fuck it I’m just gonna suggest that thing I’ve wanted to try” moments. It always comes back to the adventure.
What turns you on?
What doesn’t. The song ‘Sunshine of your love’ by Cream, ‘Tear you apart’ by She Wants Revenge, and ‘I can’t hear you’ by The Dead Weather. So much god damn music. The way my husband puts his hand on the back of my neck to guide me when we are walking, the way he did on our first trip to Vegas together. Wearing a tank top with no bra. Reminiscing on old experiences like my own private showing in my head. Smoking outside of a bar with my husband (I quit smoking but man this got me every time). Blue jeans. Swimming in the summer. Pulling over on the side of the road in our pick up truck. Like I said, what doesn’t.
How in touch are you with your period? (If you have one). Are you happy with the materials that exist for periods? (Tampons, diva cup, thinx)
Very in touch, I know my body so well at this point, especially after having two children. I can sense every slight change. Thinx have changed my life, for those of you who haven’t had children yet or haven’t gotten an IUD, you can spot every day for a long time after either of these events. Thinx allowed my to start feeling sexy again. Buy a pair you won’t regret it.
How do you honor yourself during your period? (If you have one).
By eating the vegan chocolate chip cookies from Whole Foods and taking long showers!
If you could describe WOMEN in three words what would they be?
multifaceted, beautiful, resilient
What do you fucking love about being a woman?
I fucking love having the power to create and nurture life. I fucking love being able to use my sexuality however I want. But most of all I fucking love feeling like even though I have a complicated relationship with my body, I am exactly who I want to be.
Beatrice Spencer, 21, from New Hampshire, living in Paris
What does being a “woman” mean to you?
Being a woman is powerful. It's dancing and laughing but still knowing that I am powerful and that my force can shape the world. It's proving the world wrong, and showing them how intelligent I am.
When do you feel the most sexy and/or comfortable in your body?
I feel the most sexy when I'm in a heels class. (search nadine timbas, yanis marshall)
Describe a woman you know or admire, who for you embodies true self-love and sexual empowerment (you don’t have to name them if you don’t want to). If this woman is you, describe yourself.
She is unapologetic. She has trauma but she doesn't let it hold her back. She doesn't give a shit about other peoples opinion because she knows her experience is valid, and she's had a lot of life experiences that kicked her ass but she stood back up.
Do you think it’s hard in this world to exist as “woman”?
Oh fuck yes. In certain cultures theres only one way to be a woman. You either have to be a prude and have your opinion heard. Or be the whore and have your voice silenced. If i sleep with a man on the first date I'm a whore and the man won't call me back, thinking i'm far too easy. I've almost been murdered by a man, and then had my experience invalidated because I decided to trust this man.
How do you practice self-care?
I take dance lessons. I exercise. I feel back in my body when I'm dancing or moving my body. When I'm sweating I'm so damn happy, and it shuts up every insecurity in my head. Because guess what I showed up and I pushed myself to the next level. I also go to a therapist to have a space to be able to explore my insecurities, and trauma in a safe manner.
How do you practice self-love?
Self-love for me is looking into the mirror and making my self smile because I'm so beautiful. I light my himalyan tea candles. I put on music and have a dance party in my room all alone.
How does another woman’s beauty make you feel? Empowered? Threatened? Jealous? Why?
I'm still exploring this. I used to feel super threatened by womens beauty and feel ugly. However I realize that it's because it was about competing with male gaze. Yah I haven't had a boyfriend in a long time, or a fling. I think I started to diminish myself. Becoming quiet, I am normally loud. But heres the thing I'm amazing and so is everyone else.
Do you think competition exists between women?
Yes
How do you feel about the rise in popularity of fillers, lip injections, hair removal, eyelash lifts, etc.?
I think it does come from a place of people wanting to be desirable. However I also think it's allowed women to become more empowered. If a women is insecure about their body, why not fix it? it's empowering/
What is the most beautiful sex you’ve ever had? Why?
Ughhhh my last man. We were lab partners for an entire semester, and just became best friends. It was one of those things were the tension grows but it was so easy. That when we finally starting hooking up it felt like the most right thing in the world. He gave the best damn oral in the world. I floated above my body, I never knew I could orgasm like I did. I can't even make myself have orgasms the way he did. He used to say to me, Your body gets tired before my tongue does. We only broke up because he moved back to New Jersey, and I stayed in Paris. We still love each other, and are hoping one day that we find a time to make us work.
What makes you feel free during sex?
I love tying up men. I love watching them wriggle, and I like them becoming how strong I truly am. Because when I tie up their arms, they don't realize that they are immobilized, and they aren't expecting it from me. Someone who is so goofy. It's amazing. Then I grind all over their dicks and tease the shit outta them.
What turns you on?
good oral, and neck kisses. or being grabby in public
How in touch are you with your period? (If you have one). Are you happy with the materials that exist for periods? (Tampons, diva cup, thinx)
I don't get one, thanks mirena.
If you could describe WOMEN in three words what would they be?
Powerful, beautiful, Intelligent
What do you fucking love about being a woman?
Everything. From putting on heels and walking down the street to turning up a dance floor. I love how I am changing the world, and how unapologetic I am about it. I love how funny I am. I love how I don't put up with people's bullshit. I am kind and fun, and if that's an issue you can fuck off. If you try to belittle me, I will laugh in your face. My mom raised me to change the world. I love how my parents knew I'd be the one in my family to change the world. They've supported me. My dad taught me how to be tough, and my mom raised me to be intelligent. I love how I have movement in my body. I love how fun I am!! I love how I can just be!!
Anonymous
What does being a “woman” mean to you?
being a woman means anything you want it to mean— like the choices you make to grant yourself the opportunities you feel you deserve
When do you feel the most sexy and/or comfortable in your body?
When you wake up in the morning and you’re looking in the mirror and you’ve just done your morning routine and you just feel confident and like ready to start the day and you do like a morning skinny dance in the bathroom. Live for that.
Describe a woman you know or admire, who for you embodies true self-love and sexual empowerment (you don’t have to name them if you don’t want to). If this woman is you, describe yourself.
My mum is such an incredible person. she raised two kids on her own, and when I was a teenager she like completely changed her life around, she moved us to a different city, cut toxic people from her life and worked so much on herself like her fitness, and now she competes in triathletes and is always busy. she’s the most kindhearted, generous, selfless person I know and just knowing that people can actually be that kind is so heartwarming, and watching her grow more and more into herself was so amazing and she set the example that it’s honestly never too late in life to be living your best life and a life thats meant for you. It was and continues to be so inspiring
Do you think it’s hard in this world to exist as “woman”?
In all honesty, I think it’s hard if you think about and play into the expectations ‘society’ or your friend group or family sets for you as a woman, but once you let go of those and start living your life for you; being a woman is the most fun thing in the world
How do you practice self-care?
It totally depends on the day, sometimes self-care for me is doing things for my well-being like working out, going on walks, doing skincare eating clean and taking a ridiculous amount of vitamins, etc,, sometimes it’s just letting myself chill like be in bed all day, watching youtube ordering in food and maybe skip a shower — I think self-care is mood dependent and just listening to your body, being in tune with it and giving it what it needs at that time
How do you practice self-love?
Sometimes I play out scenarios or conversations in my head and like have a continuous internal dialogue going with myself hahah and part of that is just telling myself that I’m smart, beautiful and worthy and honestly the more you think it and feel it the more it reflects and I think thats the coolest thing, your mind is so powerful!!!!!!
How does another woman’s beauty make you feel? Empowered? Threatened? Jealous? Why?
It depends; sometimes I’m like wow must be nice being genetically blessed and looking effortlessly beautiful.. but other times it’s more like holy shit go bitch like you can do anythinggggg. and honestly cheering other girls on gives you energy and actually makes you feel better about yourself — that’s when then you know you’re secure and confident enough in yourself to not tear other people down
Do you think competition exists between women?
Of course. I think women are always comparing themselves to other women, whether in person on social media. every girl has compared themselves from the girl their boyfriend was with last to the girl walking by her in the street with really good style, everyone is comparing themselves to everyone
How do you feel about the rise in popularity of fillers, lip injections, hair removal, eyelash lifts, etc.?
While I don’t think it’s great that theres such a push for ‘changing the way you look’ (deriving from the notion that you’re not good enough the way you are now) but I think (in moderation) that ‘aesthetic services’ give women more of a sense of empowerment because if there’s something they don’t like about themselves, something they can’t stop thinking about, they have the choice and the right to do anything they want to their bodies, instead of the feeling of like this is the way I look and nothing can be done about it — if that makes sense?
What is the most beautiful sex you’ve ever had? Why?
last year I hadn’t had sex in a while, and during that time I was mainly just focusing on myself and like realizing that being so critical of myself was such a waste of time and energy; and that everyone’s worried about what they’re doing not about you, and once I kind of let go of that mental anguish it translated so much into my sex life like I was so much more free and like less self-conscious, and so when I had sex again after that ‘break’ it felt so good, like good in a way that I couldn’t have felt before cos sex in my opinion is so much more a mental game than a physical one
What makes you feel free during sex?
Knowing that the other person is just honestly excited to have sex with you and could care less what you look like
What turns you on?
When you just feel comfortable around someone (whether you know them well or not) cus you know that when/ if you sleep with them you can do whatever you want and it’ll flow kinda
How in touch are you with your period? (If you have one). Are you happy with the materials that exist for periods? (Tampons, diva cup, thinx)
I haven’t had my period in almost 2 years because of birth control.
If you could describe WOMEN in three words what would they be?
Fun, free and amazing
What do you fucking love about being a woman?
I love the versatility of being a woman, one minute you can feel sexy and flirty and be wearing makeup and your hair in a cute updo and the next you’re wearing “boy” clothes and look any way you wanna look and not give a fuck and everything’s acceptable like I feel like we have so much more freedom (not just in terms of aesthetics) than we grant ourselves
I love being a girl!!!!!!
Emma Maar, 23, living in Copenhagen
What does being a “woman” mean to you?
Being a woman means many different things to me. It means being a soft and strong, beautiful existence who has a major role to play in this life/world we all live within. Being a woman carries a huge responsibility as well, biologically and non-biologically. A woman is responsible for supporting and loving other women and men, fighting for equality and liberation.
I am having a hard time with this question… what does it mean to be a woman? For me, it is what I have always been, so its meaning is of natural existence. If this makes sense? I have solemnly thought about what it actually means, outside of my being.
When do you feel the most sexy and/or comfortable in your body?
I would say there are many moments throughout the day when I feel sexy and comfortable. When I come out of the shower and the mirror is completely fogged up, so I only see the outline of my body, I fucking love that. When I take nudes, nudes totally makes me feel sexy and empowered, I am reminded how fucking awesome self-portraits can be for you confidence and playful side.
I feel comfortable, when I crawl into bed wearing my favorite cashmere sweater, nothing under, maybe some knit socks, feeling the warmth my bed gives me, I reach for my vibrator or read a book ( currently, Madam Bovary) before falling in a trans of sleep. I really love these little moments to myself.
Needless to say, I also feel fucking sexy and liberated when my partner tells me how nice my hips are or my butterfly tattoo, I love when I can see this fire burning within him, that makes me feel fucking sexy and comfortable in my skin.
Describe a woman you know or admire, who for you embodies true self-love and sexual empowerment (you don’t have to name them if you don’t want to). If this woman is you, describe yourself.
This is difficult, I want to write about many woman in my life.
I want to write about my mother, not necessarily how she is now, but how I saw her growing up. My mother, to me, was always very sexually liberated, for example, she walked around openly naked, wasn’t afraid of showing us art or photographs with nudity or talking to us about strong, liberated women and men. When she got ready to go out on a date or with friends, I remember thinking how fucking confident she was and sex oozed from her bones. She was definitely the first woman, I looked up to within sexual empowerment. Now I believe this is channeled through the women I have close to me, my friends. Each of them have their own sexual empowerment, they are confident, but equally unafraid to show their insecurities and weaknesses. That to me, is true empowerment and self-love.
Do you think it’s hard in this world to exist as “woman”?
I believe the world has always been somewhat of a cruel place for women, I think our existence bears hardships and challenges (biologically as well), but I also strongly believe, we are living at a time where women have more rights and more of a voice than ever before. I feel so blessed to be born at a time where I have the power to control my choices (within sex and outside). I think the world will continue to be a challenging place for women, but I believe the world is a challenging place for everyone. It might not become easier, but this rise of support through womanhood, will lead to more challenges being lifted off the backs of individuals who will not have to fight alone.
Existence is a fucking pain, but it is also fucking amazing.
How do you practice self-care?
I feel I practice self-care in the form of little rituals. I work in the restaurant industry, so my mornings are really the time where I self-care. I wake up and one of the first things I do is, boil hot water for tea and a peppermint steam bath. I splash cold water in my face and massage my homemade face oil into my skin. I do yoga and try to stretch out all my worries and tight muscles, the worries tend to stay, but my body feels way better afterwards. I think self-care is ultimately about doing things that lead you to feel better or more at peace in some way. After yoga I brew a fucking strong, dark cup of coffee, I love this part of my morning, the warmth and energy of coffee makes me feel so happy and ready to start my day. I organize (this is fucking important) and write in my journal, I write about how I am feeling and what is to come/what has been.
These little morning rituals are the essence of my self-care, it is one of the only real and honest times I have to myself in a busy week.
Besides my rituals, I try to focus as much as I can on my creativity, it is difficult when you are busy to remember to tune in to creativity, but so important for your self-care. I take time to go to museums, or a long walk, try to start new projects or cook a new dish I’ve been interested in cooking.
How do you practice self-love?
I have never really thought of the difference between self-love and self-care. I feel like self-love is a more intimate version of self-care, but the end result is similar, in the sense, that you do things for the bettering of yourself. To make yourself feel special.
I want to answer similarly, in a way, that self-love to me also includes little rituals I have, but maybe focused more on my sexual side, or feminine side. Before I go out for example, I usually have a glass of wine by myself, FOR myself, I turn on my favorite music and I just channel my own energy. I practice self-love, by reminding and telling myself that it is okay to feel fucking confused and hopeless, but that life is filled with hope and meaning, reminding myself to trust that.
I practice self-love by spending more money on the nicer grocery store because what you fucking eat is what you fucking are, so splurge on healthy produce because if that is not self-love, I don’t know what is.
Reading this question has also made me realize, that I need to focus more on self-love rituals and not just self-care. There is maybe more of a difference than I thought.
How does another woman’s beauty make you feel? Empowered? Threatened? Jealous? Why?
Hmmm so this is tough. I feel like we all grew up in a society where women were made to feel less than, and made to feel compared. We have constantly been surrounded by this idea of jealousy, it has implanted into our natural way of thinking, and I fucking hate this. I want to answer this question and say another woman’s beauty has only made me feel empowered and happy, but that is just not true. I have felt true bliss from another woman’s beauty, I have also felt a huge amount of jealousy, as well as felt insecure of my own beauty and worth. This is extremely relevant in my romantic relationships, I have always been more jealous than I would like to admit, but these past years, I have worked hard on accepting my jealousy, and have also worked with my own insecurities, not letting the jealousy take over. I hope to someday be able to answer this question in an only positive way, but I personally still have some work and acceptance to do beforehand.
Do you think competition exists between women?
Yes.
How do you feel about the rise in popularity of fillers, lip injections, hair removal, eyelash lifts, etc.?
I feel split. In one way, I think people should do whatever the fuck they want and if lip fillers empowers you, then fuck it, go crazy. But on the other hand I question why we want these things? Why are we not just content with our own natural beauty? Again with life being hard, it is not meant to be easy. It feels too easy to do all of those things to fix your insecurities or to simply “change” your appearance.
I am torn between wanting to help women feel comfortable in their own skin, and supporting/ standing up for women doing whatever the fuck they want.
I have definitely grown to feel more sexy not wearing makeup, not shaving, not wearing uncomfortable things, but that is because it works for me, so just do you.
I feel happy with the rise in popularity of not giving a fuck.
What is the most beautiful sex you’ve ever had? Why?
This is very tricky. I am not sure if I can answer this question yet, I am not sure if I have had the most beautiful sex yet, because I am unable to choose. I also think, maybe I will never be able to choose just one experience?
I think for me, the most beautiful sex includes feelings of pure and utter presence and bliss. I can have difficulties being present under sex, and therefore I feel I have some sexual work to do before answering this question honestly.
I think my most recent beautiful moment, has to be in this little cave in Portugal, with a lover who craved me deep within his heart. The power I had over him, his beauty and the place around us, definitely made an impact in my mind.
On a more non Sagittarius, cliché note…. Some of the best sex I have had has been hungover/ tired sex in bed, completely in love and raw.
What makes you feel free during sex?
It makes me feel free to ask for what I want, to feel equally as in control as your partner.
It makes me feel free to feel my pussy tingle and yearn for the other person.
It makes me feel free to say no.
It makes me feel free to undress and watch his eyes light up.
It makes me feel free to lay there, completely undone and pure, in our juices and speechless, because the sex fills our mouths.
What turns you on?
Confidence. Curls. Courage. Haha
I think confidence and intelligence are far up on the list of things that turn me on, when you are sure of yourself. I think many people in this age are very confused about themselves and life, but I think grounding in that and not being afraid to be vulnerable is so sexy. Of course, appearance is also something that turns me on, we all have our own weaknesses, mine happens to be tall curly haired boys, hehe.
Someone who is genuinely nice and who genuinely listens to you, is a tremendous turn on. Someone your family adores. I think I could go on?
I am also turned on by certain foods, certain songs that people play, fuck, good music taste is a turn on. I am turned on by certain emotions people show, the way the sun hits the lakes behind my apartment, the way a blood orange looks from the inside. I don’t always want to connect turn ons to my partner or another person, I think you can find turn ons in many different places.
How in touch are you with your period? (If you have one). Are you happy with the materials that exist for periods? (Tampons, diva cup, thinx)
So I have a hormonal IUD, therefore I don’t have periods anymore, I spot, but not enough to use any material for it. I am in touch, in the sense that I write down every time I spot heavily. I wouldn’t say I am happy with the materials that exist, too many women are using shitty tampons and pads, which are filled with bullshit and are contributing to mass waste.
I do think that the diva cup and thinx are awesome, they are definitely in the right direction for reusable period products and I am all for that. I haven’t tried either yet, because it was more recently on the market and still pretty expensive when I had my period, but I am really looking forward to seeing the future of reusable products.
How do you honor yourself during your period? (If you have one).
So now when I spot, I give thanks to my uterus. I kind of sit there looking at my blood, like fuck yea. But something I do every day in yoga is, when I get into happy baby pose, my vagina is facing the sky and heavens, I give thanks to my pussy and all the wonders it gives my life and the world. It feels pretty awesome to recognize.
If you could describe WOMEN in three words what would they be?
Powerful
Soft
Spicy
What do you fucking love about being a woman?
I love the way we can be fucking hard, intense, and impactful, but we can also be soft, vulnerable, raw and feminine. We flow within both masculine and feminine and I love that. We are super in touch with our feelings but at the same time, don’t give a fuck. I love the contrasts that our within womanhood, we are not one specific personality.
I love our bodies, I feel women’s bodies are the most beautiful art on this earth.
I love how strong we are, no matter how hard people and the world are, we continue to persevere and we always will, because women are fucking goddesses, savages.
Linnea, 20, from Sweden and the USA
What does being a “woman” mean to you?
Being a woman means daring to be strong and beautiful in the face of judgement and scrutiny. ‘Woman’ is a provocative term for sexiness, strength, confidence, and beauty that lights up a room.
When do you feel the most sexy and/or comfortable in your body?
Right after I take a shower! There is something so sexy and beautiful about being clean and smelling nice that just makes me feel so fresh and comfortable, and often times I walk around my apartment completely naked after rinsing off, just to bask in the glory that is my body.
Describe a woman you know or admire, who for you embodies true self-love and sexual empowerment (you don’t have to name them if you don’t want to). If this woman is you, describe yourself.
This woman is strong, she is self-assured, she is a sexual explorer, she is confident in her abilities, and she is nothing if not unapologetic for her presence.
Do you think it’s hard in this world to exist as “woman”?
I think it definitely is hard to exist in the world as a ‘woman’, simply due to all the men who assume us to be second class citizens in terms of gender in society. Life has gotten easier in the last few decades due to the fighting by gender equality advocates and heroes that came before us, but there still lies a deep-seated notion in everyday life that women need to be okay with settling for a bit less. There is an obvious factor of economic status that also plays into how hard it is to be a women in differing socio-political circumstances, but there is a definite added obstacle of being ‘woman’ that every woman must face in the context of her everyday life.
How do you practice self-care?
I definitely practice self-care as it is traditionally thought of as (face-masking, drinking tea, and reading a good book), but honestly, true self-care for me comes in the form of getting my work done early, talking with my dear friends, and going on long walks around my city with headphones in.
How do you practice self-love?
Self-love has always been difficult for me (as with many), but I mainly practice it through making myself a nice home-cooked meal, or by picking out a wonderful outfit for me to wear the next day. I also try to remind myself daily of the physical and personal attributes of myself that I genuinely like, so that I focus on those things, rather than constantly focusing on what I consider to be bad about myself.
How does another woman’s beauty make you feel? Empowered? Threatened? Jealous? Why?
Another woman’s beauty makes me feel initially wow’d and empowered by her, which quickly falls into a feeling of jealousy. I think due to the fact that society heavily values visual beauty and looks, I tend to compare myself to these woman, and rate my life and looks purely based on pictures and assumptions I have of those women, thus creating an unhealthy cycle of jealousy that is ultimately unwarranted.
Do you think competition exists between women?
I do, but I think it does not exist because of women, but rather as an engrained tactic created by the patriarchy. Women feel the competition between women because they are told they need to feel it, rather than actually feeling it themselves.
How do you feel about the rise in popularity of fillers, lip injections, hair removal, eyelash lifts, etc.?
I’m quite mixed in regards to my stance on plastic surgery, as I believe it was invented as a result of ridiculous beauty standards (for both men and women - but mostly women). But, if a lip filler is what it takes for a woman to be comfortable with her own body and looks, then who am I to tell her she’s wrong? The rise in popularity does concern me, however, because plastic surgery is definitely not a cure-all for low self-esteem confidence, and in turn perpetuates these beauty standards that are then being understood by young and impressionable children.
What is the most beautiful sex you’ve ever had? Why?
The most beautiful sex I ever had was the first time I had sex with a person I was seeing at the time, and he made sure to ask me exactly what I wanted the whole time. There was sensual massage at the beginning which was absolutely AMAZING, and he honestly treated me like a queen the whole time (which made me want to fuck him more). The way he touched me and checked in on me, and made sure to keep my needs ahead of his (which made me want to please him too) truly made it the most beautiful sex I’ve ever had.
What makes you feel free during sex?
I love to make noise during sex, so screaming and moaning makes me feel really free, and even more turned on.
What turns you on?
I love touch and intense eye contact. It turns me on instantaneously, especially when there’s verbal teasing and light joking involved. As far as physical traits are concerned, definitely hands. I love men’s hands, and the way that they can be strong one moment and truly tender the next; it honestly excites me so much.
How in touch are you with your period? (If you have one). Are you happy with the materials that exist for periods? (Tampons, diva cup, thinx)
I would say I have quite an administrative relationship with my period, as I am on the pill, and know exactly when it will be coming (yay for no surprise bleeding!). I use traditional cotton tampons and disposable pads, as I am not quite comfortable with the options that exist quite yet (although I have not tried the alternative options).
How do you honor yourself during your period? (If you have one).
I try to honor myself when I’m on my period by indulging in some of my food cravings, as well as enjoying period sex.
If you could describe WOMEN in three words what would they be?
Strength, beauty, love
What do you fucking love about being a woman?
I fucking LOVE that I can be feminine and masculine and sexy and funny and serious and a part of a female community that is so incredibly diverse and dynamic. Often times the power of a woman goes unspoken, and all I want to do is scream to the high heavens, for women deserve all the recognition in the world.
Ali Moxley, 24, originally from Georgia, living in Montana, USA
What does being a “woman” mean to you?
Quite honestly when I think about this, mainly negative thoughts float through my head. More likely to get assaulted, cast-typed as too emotional, weaker, less capable in general, have to deal with the vast majority of the burden of pregnancy, have to be the one to deal with the health repercussions of being on birth control. My view on this is slowly starting to soften, but for most of my life I have resented what comes with being a woman.
When do you feel the most sexy and/or comfortable in your body? I feel the most sexy after a hard workout. And lying next to a lover naked in bed after sex.
Describe a woman you know or admire, who for you embodies true self-love and sexual empowerment (you don’t have to name them if you don’t want to). If this woman is you, describe yourself. I honestly don’t know if I have a role model in this context.
Do you think it’s hard in this world to exist as “woman”? Tragically and indisputably yes. I have felt this in so many settings. I have worked in a variety of male dominated fields (as a guide and doing manual labor) and it is startling how hard I have had to fight in order to be shown the same respect and to be taken as seriously as my male counterparts. Even if I am MORE qualified.
How do you practice self-care? Stretching, finding time for activites that really make me laugh, being kind to myself when I don’t eat how I’d like to, showing myself grace when I need to take rest days/sleep in late
How do you practice self-love? Taking time to reflect on what I have accomplished over a month/year. Trying to not label my emotions as good or bad, writing about hard things and happy things
How does another woman’s beauty make you feel? Empowered? Threatened? Jealous? Why? I have struggled with this one. In the past other women’s beauty has been intimidating to me quite often. I have had lots of partners cheat on me and it has made me fairly insecure. I would say jealously usually arrives when I see women that are beautiful in different ways than I am beautiful. Women that are really made up and put together. Part of me wishes I could do my makeup like that or pull off clothers like that. I end up having a little bit of resentment because I know it isn’t what I really want, I am plain and I think there is something magical about that. But I see women like that and begin to question if that is what my partner thinks beauty should look like.
Do you think competition exists between women? Absolutely. In so many spaces we are told there is not room for women. That inevitably means women must claw and howl to be heard. We aren’t allowed to take up the space that men are frequently spoon fed and learn to expect from a young age.
How do you feel about the rise in popularity of fillers, lip injections, hair removal, eyelash lifts, etc.? I want women to do whatever they feel makes them feel good, but I always hope it doesn’t come from a place of social expectation or body hatred/resentment.
What is the most beautiful sex you’ve ever had? Why?
Mmm this is a nice question. I feel biased because I am honeymooning to a certain extent with my current partner. I met him over the summer and we had 4 wonderful weeks together before he went back to school in Canada. When he left we weren’t sure when we would see each other again. I went to see him 3 months later. I wasn’t sure what our dynamic would be. The first time we had sex on that trip was eletric. It felt like my body was radiating fire, every brush against my skin. I don’t even think I orgasmed, but sharing this important space with him and seeing him in an new context made the experience feel permanent even though I new I would be leaving again in a few days. It made the missing and longing from the past few months feel worth it and validating.
I briefly wrote about it the next day. “Sex with Liam last night felt other-wordly. How do you tell someone that you just experienced one of the most pivotal (memorable?) sexual experiences of your life and not freak that person out? How much of that do I purely associate with him? He is more so the independent factor. Hypothetically. How much does it have to do with me? Is there value in trying to seperate the two?”
What makes you feel free during sex?
Sometimes being tipsy with my partner can be freeing. It makes me feel less conscious of how my body moves, the sounds I am making. Certainly not all of the time, but I think it can break down some barriers or fronts that both people may be subconsciously putting up.
What turns you on?
I like soft sex and hard sex. I feel like it can be difficult to find sexual partners that are willing to fluidly move between those. I enjoy mild choking/biting. I like partners that are vocal, but not in a contrived way.
How in touch are you with your period? (If you have one). Are you happy with the materials that exist for periods? (Tampons, diva cup, thinx).
In the last year I have gotten way more in touch with my period and it has been amazing. This was a result of coming off hormonal birth control (I had an IUD) and transitioning to using a natural birth control method called the symptothermal method (98% effective). I was literally able to see my body healing itself over several months based on what my period was doing. My hormones were totally out of wack and now I have a consistent healthy cycle. I can tell if I am too high strung or getting stressed because it will literally delay my ovulation. I have gotten so excited about this topic that I have started giving free birth control talks around town. Creating a space where we can talk about options and experiences has been powerful. I am currently trying to figure out how to get men to engage in these types of conversations.
How do you honor yourself during your period? (If you have one).
I try not to do heavy cardio the first 3 days of bleeding. I get more sleep. Leading up to my period and on my period I drink red raspberry leaf tea. I won’t be as hard on myself if I feel a little weaker/more tired.
If you could describe WOMEN in three words what would they be?
Cyclical, soft, resilient
What do you fucking love about being a woman?
I love getting my period and being able to judge the current state of my mental and physical wellbeing on it.
Emily, 22, from Los Angeles
Emily had a sudden desire to answer the last question of the interview, post an inspiring masturbation session.
What do you fucking love about being a woman?
I love the inherent beauty that comes with being a woman. I love our curves and our soft thighs. I love that even when we don't meet society's standards, we are beautiful. Our oily hair and prickly legs are beautiful, and so are the bags under eyes that can be seen when we're not wearing makeup.
I love the way our bodies look in soft lighting.
I love the way that women and fresh produce compliment each other.
I love nurturing those who are smaller and being taken care of by those who are stronger.
I love our sadness. I love our compassion. I love our simple joys.
I love that not every woman will agree with the things I have listed here. I love that being a "woman" means some completely different to each person who sees themself as one.
I hate what we have been put through across so many lifetimes but I love the way through which it bonds us to each other.
I love that I can I feel in my bones that I am meant to be a woman. I hope everyone will one day have a body then can feel at home in.
I love how when we are alive, when we are kind to our bodies, and when we take care of ourselves, we are beautiful.
Madeleine Thoreson, 20, from Portland, USA, living in Paris
What does being a “woman” mean to you?
Being a woman to me means many different things I feel so though I don’t even know where to begin. I feel empowered, sexy, beautiful being a woman and I’m proud I am one but sometimes I still feel as though I’m still always a second class citizen in the way that men and woman are still to this day not treated equally and something makes me wonder if we ever will be. Just because of our different genitalia. I have always felt less strong, less intelligent, and less empowered compared to men and I hate to say it but that’s just always how I’ve felt from a young age. Its only recently that I have felt that woman are so much stronger in other different ways that men could never be. This feeling of "it's getting better" is what’s giving me hope for our future.
When do you feel the most sexy and/or comfortable in your body?
I feel the most sexy probably a few different times but they are all so different. I think I can pin my most sexy feelings down to three actions though. My first is probably when im alone in my room and I dress up in something so ridiculous and sexy and just look at myself in the mirror (maybe with a badass female rapper playing in the background) and making my most sexy poses. I pretend im fucking someone, I pretend im a stripper, a pornstar even. It makes me feel like I can be the sexy hot girl that I strive to be but always hold back when im actually having sex, dancing around others, etc. The other times I feel most sexy is when im with a guy that im hooking up with and he’s not just looking and feeling but admiring me. French men are really the best at this I think in comparison with American boys. Even if its all sweet nothings they are so verbal and tell me everything they like, touch me with gentle hands, look at me as if im a full-on gouter. They say things that if translated word by word in English they would be so straight forward or maybe even a bit silly even. However, this makes me feel on top of the world. The third thing that makes me feel the most sexy is probably when I get dressed the fuck up, beat my face, put on some dancing shoes and head out. I love to get tipsy or even a little bit past tipsy when im out with my friends. I feel as though I become the girl Ive always strived to be but never had the guts to do it. My confidence is out of this world and I dance how ever I want and find the one guy in the room I think is hottest and go after him with little to no hesitation.
Describe a woman you know or admire, who for you embodies true self-love and sexual empowerment (you don’t have to name them if you don’t want to). If this woman is you, describe yourself.
Im not exactly sure if a particular woman comes to mind when I read this question. I would of course say my mother for empowering her self love because she seems to truly accept herself the way she is and makes it a point to love the way she is and continue to keep learning about herself and trying to better herself instead of focusing on the more physical aspects of herself and I can tell she’s been working on this for the past 10 years and I have to say from loving herself to the best of her ability she is truly more beautiful and glowing than she was 10 years ago and never looked happier. As far as sexual empowerment she grew up in a different generation and she’s never really wrapped her head around the idea of having so many sexual partners and sleeping around so much but rather encouraging me to get to know someone first and know their energy well before you decide to let them into your temple (body). Sometimes I think she’s definitely right.
Do you think it’s hard in this world to exist as “woman”?
Yes and No. I feel as though im treated normal but then again I’ve never felt what it is like to be a man so I can’t make much comparison. I know it is much different though im not that oblivious. The only time I felt that I didn’t know about the differences of boys and girls was when I was very very young and never thought/ cared much about the differences.
How do you practice self-care?
Sometimes the only way I can imagine to love myself in the best way possible is to think of how my mother looks at me and how she would like to take care of me. Even with small things like saying no to hang out with friend because I know I need sleep. That to me is self care. To take care of my body and its needs and to listen to it. What is my body and my mind telling me. To trust it and know its right. Know when a boy isn’t treating me right and stop making excuses. I think about situations and if my mom knew every single detail about them what would she say? I do this because I know she is almost always right (as annoying as this can be). This goes for friendships, relationships etc. know when to stay stop when things are emotionally and physically not good for my health. I live alone and if I don’t do it nobody else will.
How do you practice self-love?
Self love is extremely hard for me to do because In one moment I think Im starting to like myself and then I always see someone better than me, more beautiful, talented blah blah blah. Even though self love has nothing to do with other people, hence the word “self” in self love. Again I think of my mother and how amazing she makes me feel about myself. I think most mothers do this of course saying how beautiful and smart their daughter is but why do we brush it off like its false or she’s only saying this because she has to? She knows me, she’s watched me grow up so wouldn’t she have the best judgement of how I am better than anyone. Of course my mom knows there are girls more beautiful and more smart and more talented but the thing about it is she sees how you are all of those things in YOUR own way. So why can’t I think the same and stop comparing myself all the time. I will never be the best. Self love isn’t about thinking you're the best though because your not, nobody is. Self love is about owning who you are, accepting it, and learning to love it unconditionally. No ifs, ands, or buts.
How does another woman’s beauty make you feel? Empowered? Threatened? Jealous? Why?
I always do feel a bit threatened I guess when I do see another beautiful woman, especially when she is off the wall crazy beautiful. Its hard though because sometimes these girls can be absolutely down to earth, gentle and kind and then I feel less threatened but more hopeful and encouraged to be the same nice, sweet kind person because it makes others around her feel comfortable and at ease. As opposed to the opposite if a girl is super pretty is a stuck up bitch then, ya I feel this overwhelming feeling of aggression and competition. I guess it depends on how a girl behaves but most of the time if I see a beautiful girl on the street or on the metro just going about her day ill often just stop and look at her. As we all are attracted to beautiful things I think its only normal.
Do you think competition exists between women?
Yes. Always a completion of who has it all. The best career with the best boyfriend and the best style with the best cutest group of girl friends, best body, the list goes ON.
How do you feel about the rise in popularity of fillers, lip injections, hair removal, eyelash lifts, etc.?
Mixed feelings to be honest. Honestly I want to tell everyone to do what makes them happy and do what they want but often I feel like what they want is being told to them from the media. Ive never met a girl in elementary school that’s wanted all of those things. They are being taught to us that we want them. If we get them they will make us look better making us more desirable. Its feeding off of our insecurities and I hate it. Why would you want to surround yourself with people who doesn’t like you just the way you are naturally anyways. That would make their love for you conditional and if your doing for “yourself” that makes your self love just as conditional as well.
What is the most beautiful sex you’ve ever had? Why?
I don’t know if I’ve ever had the best sex of my life yet really. Ive never had an orgasm with a guy and im not sure I ever will. The only thing I can say about good sex is how comfortable I am with that person really effects how good the sex is. The best sex I’ve had is either with the same partner I’ve been sleeping with for awhile and we’ve gotten to know our bodies and feel good about them with each other. Or having crazy sex with a complete random because im a bit drunk (and like I said im so much more confident when im drunk because my guard is down) and I know im never going to see him again most likely.
What makes you feel free during sex?
Closing my eyes and imagining how I want to look and then acting that way during sex and I feel as though I become what im wanting to become or look like. To stop caring about my tummy pudge or how my hair is all the way fucked up. Maybe my makeup is halfway gone and he can see my real skin but it doesn’t matter because I feel good and he’s feeling good so just continue to make those faces and moan as loud as you feel and be as wild as you feel. I feel like when im trying to hard to “act” like he would want me to or if he feels that im holding back he can feel that energy too and knowing that im not fully going for it.
What turns you on?
What turns me on is knowing that I have a guy by the balls. Kinda like I know he wants it so bad and he’s also confident enough to express that to. Not to hold it in and pretend to act cool or they don’t want me at all but instead they know they’re feelings and they act on it because they don’t care if I know, in fact they want me to know. That to me is so sexy. Of course there are they real sexual things that turn me on. I think its nice when a guy kinda makes you feel like he’s all in control, grabs you by the face and kisses you and makes you feel small and little. Id definitely say I have a Lana del Rey daddy issues sex drive kinda thing but I never had daddy issues at all so I have no idea where it comes from.
How in touch are you with your period? (If you have one). Are you happy with the materials that exist for periods? (Tampons, diva cup, thinx)
I like my period. It makes me feel woman and its nice to have this feeling of “I work” kinda thing. I think one of my most favorite photos of me I have is of my ass taking at a angle when I had my leg up on a chair and you can just see drips of blood coming down on my inner thigh. It makes me feel like a woman and sexy in a way. Im not happy at all of the materials givien to us on a normal basis. Why do I have to go buy tampons and pads from this “alternative” brand on the internet for clean materials to put inside me or on me. Why isn’t it just normal standards in our tampons and pads at the shop next store?
How do you honor yourself during your period? (If you have one).
If im going to be completely honest I don’t do much to celebrate it. I don’t buy myself any candy from the store or nice chocolates. If anything Im just very observant of what’s coming out of me and almost fascinated by it. I look at the blood on my tampon after I take it out, even smell it sometimes just to know what my odors smell like. I'm not sure why and I know its kinda gross but I think a lot of girls do the same to tell you the truth. I think there are many things us humans do that are gross and we think nobody else does them but they never tell because they think they are the the only ones.
If you could describe WOMEN in three words what would they be?
Nurturing, compassionate, and strong.
What do you fucking love about being a woman?
I love having the power to be whatever kind of woman I want to be. To switch things up. To say no to somethings and yes to others. To be this promiscuous girl who flaunts it all and then turning around and being the reserved shy girl the next day. I feel like I don’t have to stick to just one. I can go home with a guy from the club of which I don’t even know his name and then make another guy wait after 4-5 dates to go home with me. When I was an au pair I would be out with girlfriend twerking on guys and during the week id be giving a bath to a 6 year old feeling like a mother. Its all about me and what im feeling like. I hate the idea of being stuck to one specific persona when there are so many. You can test out what suits you and what doesn’t and shape yourself to your best possible form this way by seeing what makes you feel good after and what doesn’t and if it didn’t make you feel good in the end, drop that lifestyle and find a new one. The thing about this is that you see one persona working for one girl and you want to try this out but then it doesn't work for you and makes you feel bad in the end as if there’s something wrong with you. However it doesn’t mean anythings wrong with you. It simply means that lifestyle didn’t work for you. Some girls love sleeping with many different partners and have fun that way and some girls love to have one partner that they have fun with. Neither of these choices are wrong or right but as long as these types of girls accept that, then we can live in harmony with each other and stop comparing worlds.
Sara, 23, from Newport Beach, California
What does being a “woman” mean to you?
Being a woman means more to me now than it ever has before. Being a woman means power, strength, grace and beauty.
When do you feel the most sexy and/or comfortable in your body?
When I feel like I can walk into any situation and own it. When I love the way I look. This more comes down to me checking my mindset, but (sexually) when I feel light, playful and radiant/spicy, fierce and confident.
After a really good stretch/workout or meditation
When I feel like someone else (sexually) makes feel more than comfortable - just no bad vibes
Good music
Describe a woman you know or admire, who for you embodies true self-love and sexual empowerment (you don’t have to name them if you don’t want to). If this woman is you, describe yourself.
Candice Swanepoel - Sexual empowerment because she’s sexy, classy, alluring and confident. She has prowess - you can tell she doesn’t need a man!
Self love I admire myself for. My true self love came with a lot of healing and looking inside myself with a sort of understanding of the outside world in a way. It was like my eyes opened once I became aware and started to accept myself for who I am. I had to figure out who I was in order to love myself too. I found out that the world is there for you and nothing else matters if you love yourself. And I’ve been honoring that ever since.
Do you think it’s hard in this world to exist as “woman”?
For sure. In a society where women have been taken advantage of and suppressed for so long, it’s hard to feel 100% safe professionally and personally
How do you practice self-care?
Meditation, exercise and movement, good vegan (gluten free, non processed, sugar free) food, a steady skincare routine, getting enough sleep, aromatherapy, oils for skincare
How do you practice self-love?
Acceptance and awareness, affirmations, gratitude journaling, taking care of myself so I can take care of others, exercise yoga and movement, focusing on me, eating food that is good for me, getting my mindset right, remembering my value lies inside my mind not my body
How does another woman’s beauty make you feel? Empowered? Threatened? Jealous? Why?
It makes me want to say fuck yeah. Seeing beauty in another woman is seeing through to something deeper. Beauty comes from within. It doesn’t matter what a woman looks like on the outside - When I can feel inner beauty it makes me feel empowered, supported and it realigns my thoughts to be confident in myself and who I am.
Do you think competition exists between women?
Unfortunately, yes.
How do you feel about the rise in popularity of fillers, lip injections, hair removal, eyelash lifts, etc.?
I respect and support every person’s decision to make adjustments to their body if it makes them feel better. I would just recommend to be really careful with the toxins and chemicals being put on and inside the body.
What is the most beautiful sex you’ve ever had? Why?
It was a night where we felt so head over heels drunk in love. It was like I closed my eyes, felt comfortable and in a new world, had the most amazing experience, and woke up on a new planet
What makes you feel free during sex?
Free: connection and natural intuition, when he is open and wants to experience something deeper
It ended up being easier for me to talk about the things that don’t make me feel free
Feel not free: a partner that doesn’t verbalize in making you feel comfortable, having a conflict of interest, lack of communication or something isn’t clear, bad intentions, having to figure out what they like versus what they like, feeling restricted (need to be quiet or only have 10 minutes, etc), feeling like it’s a last resort, feeling like it’s obligated or owed, feeling like my pleasure is not a priority, anything non consensual, not full acceptance of my body, no respect of my headspace, not open, doesn’t make me feel emotionally or physically secure, can’t just go with the flow
What turns you on?
ENERGY. Soft delicious kisses, confidence, independence, connection, emotional stability, openness and adaptability, comfort and warmth, vulnerability, compassion, a challenge, curiosity
How in touch are you with your period? (If you have one). Are you happy with the materials that exist for periods? (Tampons, diva cup, thinx)
I haven’t used any cups or I don’t use pads because they always bothered me. But I’m not happy with the tampon/birth control options at all.Tampons are bleached and loaded with chemicals and toxins and women are using them because the regulations are so poor and they don’t know. We need more natural options for women.
How do you honor yourself during your period? (If you have one).
Growing up, I was always trying to avoid my period and that time of the month wasn’t emphasized as special, it was more of a hassle. So I haven’t had much experience with honoring myself during my period. I was on birth control for 7 years and it completely messed up my body. I have been off for 6 months now, but haven’t had a period yet. I have to see how my body does once it starts getting back to normal and then I’ll create some rituals. I’m sure gut healing soups, candles, yoga, meditation and journaling will be on an even heavier rotation though.
Today I really do honor my body every day by doing the things I know will make it feel good (stretching, eating right, etc.)
If you could describe WOMEN in three words what would they be?
Resilient, underestimated, passionate
What do you fucking love about being a woman?
Everything? I am so fucking proud to be a beautiful woman. It means something so different today than it did even 5 years ago. Just the simple fact that I’m not a male and that I’m part of a better species: a species that is more compassionate, caring, intelligent, personally driven, etc. Being a man has only diminished and the power of women is only growing. When I think of a woman it’s like that’s the highest power and not that I hate men, but all these idiots are ruling the world and have done so much damage and they need to step aside.
Catrina, 23, from Southern California
What does being a “woman” mean to you?
Being a woman is being a part of something greater than yourself. It’s community, adversity, trust, sympathy and divinity.
When do you feel the most sexy and/or comfortable in your body?
In an outfit that is comfortable and representative of my own style. An outfit that can easily be taken off and put back on. Oh! And hoops.
Describe a woman you know or admire, who for you embodies true self-love and sexual empowerment (you don’t have to name them if you don’t want to). If this woman is you, describe yourself.
I do want to credit myself with this at this point in my life. I struggle and I learn. I lift other women up and in return spark confidence in myself. I ask for what I want. I’m working on setting boundaries. I love myself passionately.
Do you think it’s hard in this world to exist as “woman”?
I think it is hard to exist period. Yes, there are added obstacles for women. For myself in particular, I am very privileged. I am privileged to live in sunny liberal California. I am privileged to be white in this prejudice society. I am privileged to even be allowed to talk about my experiences with fear of only rhetoric backlash and not deadly response. So this is very circumstantial.
How do you practice self-care?
Eat what I want when I want. Compliment myself. Agree with compliments others give me. Buy myself shoes.
How do you practice self-love?
Take selfies all the time. My phone is filled with them. I rarely even post them anymore because I’m too busy admiring myself. Maybe I should post more? Photo shoots with my friends. This is how I love my physical self. I love my inner self, my true self my acknowledging my flaws and reminding myself of how much I’ve grown and continue to grow.
How does another woman’s beauty make you feel? Empowered? Threatened? Jealous? Why?
Proud first, maybe a little jealous for a minute. Then probably gay.
Do you think competition exists between women?
I think competition exists amongst capitalism. There is no money to be made when people love themselves and each other. Especially for women.
How do you feel about the rise in popularity of fillers, lip injections, hair removal, eyelash lifts, etc.?
Beauty enhancements have always and will always exist. I can only speak for myself and choose not to judge other women’s choices on the matter. When I was 18/19 I would wear a full face of make up almost everyday. I began to feel like I couldn’t go out without at least some make up on. Now, I’m completely comfortable going anywhere at anytime without make up on which further allows me to use make up as a form of creative expression and style, when I do wear it. I think that’s important.
What is the most beautiful sex you’ve ever had? Why?
That’s a hard one. I’d have to say different things about different experiences made each of them beautiful. The most beautiful sex for me is spontaneous and driven by passion for the moment. The most beautiful sex has dialogue and physical communication.
What makes you feel free during sex?
I seem to put myself in situations where whoever my partner at the time is and I can’t get any alone time. So for me it’s the simple pleasure of being completely alone with my partner with no time constraints.
What turns you on? Where do I begin? Confidence, participation, creativity, style, brown eyes, thick eyebrows, style again, having purpose, calmness and logic. And also ‘Let Me Love You’ by Mario.
How in touch are you with your period? (If you have one). Are you happy with the materials that exist for periods? (Tampons, diva cup, thinx)
I am so out of touch with my period. The materials could be significantly better and even more so significantly accessible. For everyone.
How do you honor yourself during your period? (If you have one).
I really don’t but I think I should. I think I often resent it and I’m afraid if it. I’ve always become extremely sick from it and I’m afraid to find out something could be wrong.
If you could describe WOMEN in three words what would they be?
Resilient, empathetic, courageous.
What do you fucking love about being a woman?
The power.
Anonymous
What does being a “woman” mean to you?
Somewhat unfortunately (there is a positive here), being underestimated. Proving people wrong. Having the opportunity and power to change minds. Being a force of power in the world often under the radar and coming out on top fully independent, with pure agency, and pride of being who I am because my own power and self love.
When do you feel the most sexy and/or comfortable in your body?
When I fuel my body. With good food (either tasty or healthy), mindful practice, and care. I feel my most sexy when I’ve put time and energy into taking care of myself... I think it comes down to an idea of I put love and care in myself and I expect / demand the same from another.
Describe a woman you know or admire, who for you embodies true self-love and sexual empowerment (you don’t have to name them if you don’t want to). If this woman is you, describe yourself.
1st. I love that you have made mention of that possibly being myself. Because women often times do not express or are comfortable with publicly sharing and showing this intimate side of themselves. I personally admire Frida. Against the norm. Powerful. Assertive. Artistic. Undefined. Boundary pushing. And inherently sexual regardless of social norms or physical/mental handicaps.
Do you think it’s hard in this world to exist as “woman”?
I think we are taught to be on guard. And probably should be. I know I have had to be for my own safety. And it’s hard to one experience that and two express or explain to people why we need to be (which is silly... pay attention). I think it is hard. We have many many benefits, lots that so many still do not have... but there IS room to grow and thrive and it is a process we are very much underway.
How do you practice self-care?
Listening to my mind and body. But balancing my wants (I sometimes confuse with needs) with challenging myself. Whether it’s nutrition, exercise, getting out into the world, being vulnerable, etc. it’s listening to myself and challenging myself.
How do you practice self-love?
Taking moments to recognize how lucky I am. And taking moments after to recognize what I’ve done with what I’ve been giving and letting myself be proud. We often focus on “what’s next”, a negative, an embarrassing trait we might not like about ourselves. But love is recognizing that we can grow, have grown, and will continue to do so.
How does another woman’s beauty make you feel? Empowered? Threatened? Jealous? Why?
It’s complicated. While I will never put a woman down for their beauty (they’re beautiful!!! Why would you!?! Share love!) internally there is this subtle pull of “I wish I looked like that”. And what hurts is that now-days money can buy it. So beauty used to be a natural born thing where you just witness and say “wow” but now it’s a status of class and success (depending where you live but nontheless). And I think I am still navigating that thought process.
Do you think competition exists between women?
I think competition exists between humans. But Women competing against women simply because they are women is toxic and sad
How do you feel about the rise in popularity of fillers, lip injections, hair removal, eyelash lifts, etc.?
See previous haha. But generally, if you feel better it’s amazing. Since before I knew what fillers were (I’m talking 8yo) I wanted under eye filler. And that’s a personal thing and it’s SO WONDERFUL for people to be accepted in making changes that make them more confident, put themselves out there, and be the best version of themselves. But this is a double edged sword where for many this is not the case and that comes down to a personal level and reasoning. Which should never be judged, but is perhaps an unfortunate result of our modern society at this moment in time.
What is the most beautiful sex you’ve ever had? Why?
Anytime I’ve truly felt that I shared my being and love with another. Regardless of if they did with me... when I felt taken care of, seen, understood, and loved for who I was fully in that moment... words escape me.
What makes you feel free during sex?
Back to this idea of being understood and having a level of understanding with another - every interaction and relationship is different. And our needs change within the moment. So I feel lost free when someone really sees me in THAT moment and we have this.. collaboration... of attention, intimacy, maybe kink, etc. a pure give and take. I feel free when I can explore and openly communicate with full confidence it will be both received and reciprocated.
What turns you on?
Other people getting off on me getting off
How in touch are you with your period? (If you have one). Are you happy with the materials that exist for periods? (Tampons, diva cup, thinx)
VERY!! I have a non hormonal birth control and use a diva cup. So no chemicals, hormones, bullshit industry, etc. pink tax is shit. Contraceptive education is shit. It’s all a money market and toxic both to our bodies and in women’s rights and choice. I love feeling sustainable and in control of my own experience.
How do you honor yourself during your period? (If you have one).
Sleep. Lots of sleep and self patience.
If you could describe WOMEN in three words what would they be?
STRONG. INTUITIVE. PATIENCE.
What do you fucking love about being a woman?
I am the physical embodiment of both sex and love. My skin sweats sex and my heart bleeds empathy and kindness. And that balance is a power no one knows how to harness if they do not already posses... and only women do
Phoebe Alva, 18, from Newport Beach, CA
What does being a “woman” mean to you?
Being a woman means that I am a sister, a daughter, a granddaughter, and a goddess. Being a woman is SO powerful. Being a woman means that I have control of two of the most incredible things on this earth- the female body and brain. I love being a woman, and am proud to be one.
When do you feel the most sexy and/or comfortable in your body?
I feel the most comfortable in my body when I am in yoga. I don’t care if my stomach rolls over my leggings, or my double chin shows when im in crow. I am strong and powerful and capable, and I love my body when I am in yoga. I feel the most sexy in my body- although I know its dumb- when my boyfriend compliments me. I have a very great relationship with him, and I spend 99% of my time with him in sweatpants and laughing about poop jokes. No matter what I look like or in what situation, he never fails to remind me of how much he loves me and how beautiful and sexy I am. He loves to lay in bed with me and compliment every aspect of me, shooshing me every time I interject or say he’s wrong. He makes me love my body no matter what I look like, and that makes me feel sexy.
Describe a woman you know or admire, who for you embodies true self-love and sexual empowerment (you don’t have to name them if you don’t want to). If this woman is you, describe yourself.
The woman who I’ve always admired most is my sister, Addie. She is confident, powerful, strong, smart, and beautiful inside and out. She used to be a bodybuilder, and is now training to be a teacher in hot yoga, and I have always looked up to how healthy she is and how comfortable she is in her own body. She was always the one to teach me about feminine and sexual health, and even bought me my first vibrator for my 17th birthday because that’s how old she was when she bought one. She was the first person I told when I lost my virginity, and has always been so supportive of me no matter what.
Do you think it’s hard in this world to exist as “woman”?
While sitting across my uncle at christmas dinner while he tried to tell me that feminism didn’t exist and that Kavanaugh was innocent, I wanted to SCREAM that he had no idea how hard women have it in this world already and that ignorant individuals like himself were the perpetrators. He began complaining about how a young girl got mad at him for calling her sweetheart, and I truly wanted to scratch out his ignorant, oppressive, sexist eyeballs right then and there. Sorry, woah, that was a little extreme. But you know what I mean. I am 18 years old, and every woman I know has been affected by the inequalities they face. I was asked by a homeless man if he could “milk me”. Nobody understood the shame and extreme uncomfort I felt in that moment. A man pulled up next to me in his car and rolled down his window to expose himself masturbating and complimented my boobs and then drove off. The cops didn’t care, and my shame didn’t go away for a long time. I am the president of the feminism club at my school, and every person in that club has countless stories to tell. Yes, it is hard to exist in this world as a woman.
How do you practice self-care?
I practice self care by going to hot yoga about 4 times a week. The hour I spend in there is the only hour I give myself to not think about all the work I have to do and deadlines I have to meet. While I stretch, focus on my breathing, and follow the soothing words of the instructor, I don’t allow myself to think of anything else. It is truly healing, and one of the only things I’m willing to spend my money on. At the end of practice, my favorite part is squeezing my knees into my chest, kissing them, and telling myself “I love you so much. Thank you.”
How do you practice self-love?
The one thing that I’ve kept in my life for years and years despite it taking way too much time has been theater. I do not plan on majoring in theater, and it can’t get me any scholarships like a sport could, but I love it with all of my heart. Acting is my biggest passion, and I think the way that I’ve practiced self love has been through allowing myself to keep theater in my life even when I am completely overwhelmed and already have an overflowing plate.
How does another woman’s beauty make you feel? Empowered? Threatened? Jealous? Why?
This may just be the immature teenager in me, but another woman’s beauty truly has the power to make me extremely jealous and insecure. It is hard to look at another woman as extremely beautiful without it letting me degrade my image of my own beauty. There are so many gorgeous people where I live and go to school, and it sometimes is hard to accept myself as I am instead of comparing myself to all the beautiful women I see.
Do you think competition exists between women?
Yes, I think that competition definitely exists between women. However, I think that it stems from the struggles we face and the oppressive nature of society, making us feel as though we have to be the best if we want to succeed. I am lucky to be in an amazing friend group where we are all extremely loving with each other, but there are some very toxic and competitive girls at my school.
How do you feel about the rise in popularity of fillers, lip injections, hair removal, eyelash lifts, etc.?
I think its SO TOXIC. Women already have an impossibly high standard they feel forced to meet and now it has somehow become the standard for women to have incredible eyelashes and huge lips. We need to be helping women love themselves, not marketing on their insecurities. I understand that if there is something you seriously want to change about yourself, that is completely your choice. My sister had teeny tiny lips her whole life, and saved up for a long time to get lip fillers. Although she then realized they were pointless, it was her choice and she genuinely wanted to get them. Women however, shouldn't feel like they HAVE to get these procedures to be beautiful, or even just normal. Not only is it not necessary, but its expensive to get those procedures!
What is the most beautiful sex you’ve ever had? Why?
I’m gonna not follow this question completely. The most beautiful sexual experience I’ve ever had was when I hooked up with my boyfriend at an empty pool at night after it was closed. It was really early on in our relationship, we were so beyond attracted to each other that were were all over each other every chance we got. He and I had planned to hang out that night, but both our houses were full, so we drove around my neighborhood looking for a dark place to park. I guess I proposed going to the pool, because that is where we ended up. We pulled a lounge chair to a sitting area that was semi hidden, and got to it. We weren’t having sex yet, so grinding was like crack. We were both so new to each others bodies, and still in the state of exploring each other.. He lifted me onto a table, and I shook while he ate me out, partly because of how amazing it made me feel, partly because of how freezing it was outside. We were laughing and whispering, and both so in love. That was the night I gave my first blowjob! A security guard came later, and we managed to sneak away. I think that the reason I find that night so beautiful is because we were both so new to each other, physically and sexually, and being that he had been my best friend for so long before, it was full of love and passion and respect and comfort, which is exactly what I needed. We were so comfortable with one another, and that night was a part of the beginning of our amazing relationship.
What makes you feel free during sex?
I feel free when I dirty talk during sex. It honestly takes me being in a very specific mood to be confident enough to do so, but once I do, I love it. I love the confidence it gives me and how much more it makes me enjoy whatever we are doing. When I am dirty talking, I feel free, sexy, and confident.
What turns you on?
Intelligent people turn me on. People who smell good turn me on. My body turns me on. Positivity in a bad situation turns me on. Confidence turns me on. Short hair on girls turns me on, and long curly hair on guys turns me on. Man buns turn me on. Leg tattoos and nose rings turn me on. Being slow while hooking up turns me on, and so does grinding. Sweatpants turn me on. Being fucking nice turns me on.
How in touch are you with your period? (If you have one). Are you happy with the materials that exist for periods? (Tampons, diva cup, thinx)
I am so glad this question is here. I love my period. I know that it obviously causes many issues, and I don’t love bleeding through everything every month, but something about getting my period makes me so happy. I feel like a woman! I feel fertile and feminine. I feel like my hips are big and my boobs are plump and my vagina is healthy. I use a menstrual cup, and seeing the amount of blood that comes out of me is honestly incredible. I am reminded that my uterus was ready to grow a whole ass human, and that I am that fucking powerful. I love my period.
How do you honor yourself during your period? (If you have one).
I honor myself during my period by continuing to go to yoga, and allowing myself to eat all the carbs and chocolate that I want.
If you could describe WOMEN in three words what would they be?
Not done fighting.
What do you fucking love about being a woman?
I fucking love that I am a sister to every powerful goddess on this earth, and that we are all united and capable of anything.
Kate, 27, from San Diego, California
What does being a “woman” mean to you?
Being a woman means being a creator. A creator of life. A cell to cell making life-source. My being a woman means that I have the power and the desire over my own body. Not only do I have the ability to create literal life, (which I very much want to do one day: to experience the chemical, biological transformation of creation within myself. To know that form of love. To experience that form of grace and passion) but I also have the ability to create for myself. By getting to know myself, I get to explore and understand the deepest desires and potentiality of my own body. Making myself glow, shine, strong, independent, to cum— all through self-love and self-care. Being a woman means sharing passions, expressing feelings and emotions through art or writings or speech. It means experiencing love and kindness with other women, men, friends, and intimate relationships. Women have thoughts, ideas, experiences, and dreams that they have every right to express as much as anyone else.
When do you feel the most sexy and/or comfortable in your body?
I feel the most sexy right out of the shower. Looking in the mirror, and seeing through to my soul in my truest state. Smiling at the pure beauty of just me looking back at me. I also feel the most sexy when I’m dancing in my bedroom, alone, with or without clothes on— or on the dance floor when no one is looking (and if they are, let them look). Another important time I feel the most sexy, is when I am with a partner in bed who makes me feel sexual, beautiful, and full of hot and heavy life.
Describe a woman you know or admire, who for you embodies true self-love and sexual empowerment (you don’t have to name them if you don’t want to). If this woman is you, describe yourself.
The woman I am thinking of is named Dana. She was my yoga and movement professor in acting school. She taught her students how to open their bodies up in space and time through movement. How to face our demons within our minds and push them out with our movements through our bodies. She speaks very softly, yet strongly. She speaks only when necessary and appropriate and is an exceedingly good listener. She takes life seriously, but not too seriously, and is genuine and truthful in her voice when she speaks, as well as within her smile. She never says anything she herself doesn’t believe and mean. She pushed us to our limits in class fiercely, and always gave us affirmations of praise when we did well, did the work and went deeper. She is a patient person with herself and believes in the movement and truth of her own body. She teaches yoga every day and is always focused on the fluidity and consistency of her own breath and mind. I love her, and I appreciate having had the experience of her being one of my teachers in this life.
Do you think it’s hard in this world to exist as “woman”?
100%. At least in most places from one degree to another. We’ve been on uneven playing field since the story of Adam and Eve, which goes back to the beginning of human civilization. Humankind has hardly seen women being anywhere near as equal to men. We have always been stereotyped as the too, overly emotional gender. When in reality, society over the span of human civilization has invaded our brains and nailed that narrow minded idea to the inside of our own minds. It is up to us women, as one, to make up our own minds about today’s society and our current civilization. We have the same power as men do- that all humans do- to use our multiple, miracle language speaking vocal cords and express ourselves through our voices and bodies on our own thoughts, feelings and emotions. We need to unlearn what we have been told we each are and start over in new practices. Men and women need to unlearn everything we have been pegged as and evolve into better humans for each other and the world.
How do you practice self-care?
Baths, tea, cake, homemade anything, sitting by warm fireplaces and firepits, reading a good book, doing yoga, putting on a face mask, watching a tv show or movie, going to bed early, working on not doing my bad habits (aka picking at my skin/face), more baths, lighting a candle and taking deep breathes, saying “no” when I don’t want to go out.
How do you practice self-love?
Drawing, playing ukulele, singing, dancing like no one is watching (or everyone is watching), looking myself in the mirror and telling me that I am beautiful, writing freely, journaling, laying down and doing nothing (absolutely nothing because that is 100% ok to do), masturbating and making myself cum over and over, hugging myself tightly, taking baths, sitting by a warm fire, speaking kindly to myself, forgiving myself, reading lovely positive inspiring books, having sex with someone in a lovingly mutual way.
How does another woman’s beauty make you feel? Empowered? Threatened? Jealous? Why?
I admire beauty in humans as well as nature. If I see someone beautiful, and jaw dropping, whether male or female, and then when I speak to them in life and vibe well with them and their personality, I am even more jaw dropped and appreciative of their kindness and inspirations. I am not jealous or threatened easily by others, and when I am its not usually because of their beauty. I’d say I’m generally empowered and inspired by women.
Do you think competition exists between women?
Yes. Unnecessarily so. We should be inspired by each other, and raising one another up and affirming each other. We can all share the joys of success together, and for one another. Women have always engaged in competitions, the same as men, and have felt similar jealousies, but now there is competition to see who IS more beautiful as well as a part of society, popular—that’s all society has encouraged in the last millennia. Again, women have spoken up against the general consensus of what a women “should” look and be like—except for EXACTLY THEMSELVES. As they should. This is why we need to unlearn everything we have heard, learned and have been taught about who we should be, instead of who we were meant to be. An individual; as no one is exactly the same genetic makeup (the only kind of makeup that really matters).
How do you feel about the rise in popularity of fillers, lip injections, hair removal, eyelash lifts, etc.?
To each their own, do you boo boo. Personally, I don’t do it or want to do it, but that doesn’t make me any less inspired by any woman who does it or not. Or make me feel any less insecure by the things that I am personally insecure over, and working on evolving within myself body and mind. To accept myself fully as I am. With and without insecurities. The only question I ponder is, ‘how many women would stop and not do any of those things if they knew they could trust society to accept who they were as individuals body and mind?’.
What is the most beautiful sex you’ve ever had? Why?
The most beautiful sex I have ever had (most likely hasn’t truly happened yet) but, a time it was most beautiful was when I had been gone for a summer working at a camp, and I was long distance with my boyfriend at the time because of it, and during a day off, he came up to see me and be with me for a single 24 hour day- so romantic!- and when I saw him, I ran into his arms, and we kissed- then we went up to our hotel room in the high Sierra California mountains and immediately fell onto each other... he took his time kissing every inch of my body and, even though I was immediately wet with joy being with him after months of not having seen him, he played with me until I couldn’t take it anymore and craved to be with him inside me... when he was inside me, we were moving together, as one- with loving passion- from missing each other so much. After many minutes and a few fun and sexy positions he guided me to climax and I came so hard as he came- pure fireworks! I smiled hot and heavy with joy, and then we laid together holding one another... that evening, at sunset- we did it again on top of a mountain called Mushroom Rock which overlooked the entire valley of the Forrest, and he made love to me against a rock, over the view- but before we could finish a car full of my friends also on their day off came by in their car, and we stopped and put our clothes on as fast as we could!- said hi, then dashed in our own car so we could continue and finish together in the backseat- it was hot, heavy, sexy and totally primal! I’m pretty sure another car passed by us with kids inside who very well might have witness a moment of us going at it LOL! All in all- one VERY sexy #bestsexever moment with my ex. The first love of my life. I’ll never forget :}
What makes you feel free during sex?
When I feel with my breath, relaxed and kinetic with my partner, like a puzzle piece connected and fluid together. I feel free to moan and move and groan as fiercely, passionately, loudly, lovingly as I can.
What turns you on?
This questionnaire. I’m horny as I write this answer. Hahah! It truly just came upon me—thinking about all of this fucking epic sexual and female empowerment! In truth, before I wrote this, I had just gotten back from being at the San Diego Women’s March of 2020, and I was hot and heavy from all the speeches and live performances and the march reflecting on freedom of speech, equality for all genders, love, sisterhood, brotherhood, faith, female empowerment etc… So, I was already horny when I got here to this moment. Watching sexy, fun, shows and films about relationships, couples and sex gets me turned on… like the show SEX EDUCATION on Netflix. Obsessed.
How in touch are you with your period? (If you have one). Are you happy with the materials that exist for periods? (Tampons, diva cup, thinx)
I don’t get a period, because I’m on birth control, and I love my doctor who essentially is exactly like Mindy Kaling in The Mindy Project. I’m so glad I live in a century though (and new decade) where there are companies out there who make organic products made out materials healthy for women and their vaginas and the planet! When I have had my period consistently though, I have been grateful for Advil, modern day showers, washing machines, heating pads, bathroom wipes and toilet paper—because that shit hurts bad and can be real messy!
How do you honor yourself during your period? (If you have one).
I eat a shit ton of chocolate, whatever I want to eat really, but then also a ton of tea and showers and rest to get myself feeling prime again.
If you could describe WOMEN in three words what would they be?
Strong. Powerful. Beautiful.
What do you fucking love about being a woman?
D. All of the above.
PS. Being able to orgasm multiple times during sex.
Harriet, 23, from London
What does being a “woman” mean to you?
I think being a “women” isn’t really a tangible thing, and can mean whatever you want it to. For me, being a women means being strong as hell, even if society doesn’t always want you to be, and being surrounded by a really strong support system of other women who bring out the best in me. Personally I do feel at my most ‘womanly’ when I’m conforming to typically female tropes eg wearing clothes that accentuate my curves, but sometimes it can be when I feel strong, like deadlifting in the gym.
When do you feel the most sexy and/or comfortable in your body?
I found this question quite hard. Generally I’d say when I’m listening to music/dancing around the kitchen/after a few drinks/dancing on a night out/when I can tell a boy is checking me out/wearing sexy underwear/when someone pays me a compliment/when I’m surround by a diverse group of women who are comfortable in their bodies. For years I’ve felt really uncomfortable in my body, particularly around the fact that I’m really flat chested. It made me never want to get my tits out, and I felt like clothes just didn’t fit me right. I got my nipples pierced a couple of years ago on a total whim, and this has made me kind of embrace my boobs. It makes me feel like I have a kind of sexy secret. In a way it’s made me more confident because when I get naked in front of a boy they might be thinking, “cool, her nipples are pierced”, not “wow this girl has no boobs”. This is definitely all in my head, because god knows what they were ever thinking, or what they think now.
Describe a woman you know or admire, who for you embodies true self-love and sexual empowerment (you don’t have to name them if you don’t want to). If this woman is you, describe yourself.
Someone who I think embodies self-love and sexual empowerment, and certainly preaches it on Insta is Charli Howard. Charli was dropped by her model agency, and told that she “was never going to be small enough” to cut it in the traditional fashion world (as a UK size 6). Now she’s a spokeswomen for body positivity, and day-to-day infiltrates my life on Instagram with images of diverse, beautiful sexual women including herself. It’s definitely positive reinforcement that not one type of woman exists.
Do you think it’s hard in this world to exist as “woman”?
I’m sure lots of people would contest this, but I do think it is hard to exist in this world as a “woman”. I’m very aware of my privilege; I’m a straight, white, employed, able-bodied, university educated women who grew up in a loving family. Regardless, even just existing as a women in the UK, in 2020, isn’t always easy. I’ve personally experienced rape whilst I was at uni, being groped, being called a bitch in the street, miscarriage. At the ‘brother’ school to mine a girl was held down at a party whilst a guy peed on her, and when she reported it to the school the boys threatened her and she kept quiet. Boys at my uni were suspended when a Facebook group chat in which they were discussing raping girls until they were lifeless was leaked. The women in the finance team at my work were told to wear heels to look more professional. These are just the first things off the top of my head, and all in a comparatively ‘progressive’ country. I’m sure if you asked most of the men in my life they wouldn’t think it hard to be a woman today, and some of my male mates at uni certainly took the piss out of me for being an ‘angry feminist’.
How do you practice self-care?
By taking my antidepressants, getting a good night’s sleep, not checking my work emails outside of working hours, yoga, reading, eating nutritious and delicious food.
How do you practice self-love?
Masturbating, setting boundaries, trying to accept myself and not spend too much time mindlessly scrolling Instagram.
How does another woman’s beauty make you feel? Empowered? Threatened? Jealous? Why?
I think sometimes other women’s beauty makes it hard for me to tell if I want to be them, or be with them. It can definitely make me feel intimidated and insecure, worthless, jealous, but also in awe. Probably in the sense that I’m jealous that men will fancy them over me, and that they look good in clothes, and naked, that people are drawn to them etc. But at the same time I’m used to it, I went to an all-girls school from the age of 4-18. I think women are beautiful, and I love being surrounded by them. It’s hard not to be shallow in such a materialistic world, but it’s not going to seriously get me down if I perceive a girl as fitter than I am.
Do you think competition exists between women?
Yes, competition definitely can exist between women. I think this can often take the form of undercutting other women, being ‘catty’ or ‘bitchy’ and passive aggressive. But I don’t know whether this is an internalised tribal thing, the inner cavewoman competing for a man. Or maybe we’re not competing with other women, but actually our warped perceptions of ourselves. Female competition although in existence, is definitely an overhyped stereotype. Think how much the media love it when a women in the public eye in the same area are perceived as having a ‘feud’. Men generally are considered as competitive, but not in competition with other.
How do you feel about the rise in popularity of fillers, lip injections, hair removal, eyelash lifts, etc.?
Whilst I believe in any woman absolutely having the right to do what she likes to herself, a lot of it makes me sad. Seriously young women are getting treatments designed for women much older than them, and not necessarily for the right reasons. What is ‘fashionable’ in terms of aesthetics right now might not be in a few years, and the fact that a woman may have spent thousands to conform is depressing.
What is the most beautiful sex you’ve ever had? Why?
I found this one kind of sad, because I don’t think I’ve ever had sex that’s ‘beautiful’ in its totality. But part of lots of the sex I have had, has been beautiful at times. When you’re having sex with someone and you can just have a laugh, I think that’s beautiful. Inevitably funny shit happens, you get cramp, or fall out of bed, and when you’re with someone that you feel comfortable enough to laugh it off with I think that’s beautiful.
What makes you feel free during sex?
I find it quite difficult to be free during sex, and I’ve no idea why. I’ve slept with quite a lot of different men, and none of them have made me orgasm. Some haven’t bothered at all, and some have tried really damned hard. As time goes on, and it’s still not happening for me, it makes it harder to not be inside my head. I’m not sure I’ve ever had sex where I’ve felt truly free.
What turns you on?
A fingertip running down my spine, being grabbed by the belt loops of my jeans. So called ‘big dick energy’; someone that’s confident, but not arrogant. Intelligence. Passion, someone that gets excited by a book, or a film. A guy embracing his feminine side, and not giving a shit what other people think. A feminist. Someone that’s kind, and is genuinely interested in your opinion, and respects you. Floppy hair and a chiselled jaw. Someone that takes total control in the bedroom. When I take total control of someone in the bedroom. Erotic literature. Dipping bread into a melted camembert, with a full glass of merlot.
How in touch are you with your period? (If you have one). Are you happy with the materials that exist for periods? (Tampons, diva cup, thinx)
Fairly in touch, I track my cycle etc. I just use tampons and they do the job, but I should really branch out to the diva cup/thinx but it all seems like a bit much faff, and I don’t know how I’d deal with it at work given I’m out the house 8:00am-7pm. One of my mates has got a diva cup and it’s got suctioned to her cervix twice and she’s had to get it removed by health professionals, so that’s kind of put me off.
How do you honor yourself during your period? (If you have one).
I guess I just try and be kind to myself, and accept that if I want to sit in my bed and eat chocolate and feel like shit then I’m fully entitled to.
If you could describe WOMEN in three words what would they be?
Multifarious
Empowering
Special
What do you fucking love about being a woman?
So many things. I love being able to forge relationships with so many other amazing women, I love my femininity, I love that one day I might be able to have kids, I love that despite the obstacles in our way - historically and in the present - so many women have achieved incredible things as a result of, not in spite of being a woman.
Shelby, 27, from San Jose
What does being a “woman” mean to you?
To be honest, I’m still not entirely sure how to answer this question. I self identify as being a woman. I wish I had something special to attach to my answer to this question but I’m still figuring that out.
When do you feel the most sexy and/or comfortable in your body?
There are a few times I feel this way: when I’m snuggling in a soft blanket naked, when I’m taking a bath, when I’m wearing a specific pair of soft sweatpants that make my ass look good, when I look in a mirror and like what I see (this took a while to accomplish in life), when I’m dancing around in my room to old songs from the 90s and early 2000s.
Do you think it’s hard in this world to exist as “woman”?
To put it bluntly: absofuckinglutely. There are so many things I think about before I go anywhere that I don’t think men think about (going to my car alone, having something with me I could use in case I get attacked, constantly second guessing a lot of what I wear). And then there are the societal pressures of beauty standards that I don’t think can every truly be reached by anyone that take a lot of time to say “fuck it” to.
How do you practice self-care?
Within the past year, I started going to see a therapist to talk about my anxiety and the negative self image that I have about myself and it does seem to be helping.
I also do small things for myself like buy flowers to put in my bathroom, paint my nails when I get the time (it’s very therapeutic to sit for 2 hours and make them look nice), I go to Lush and buy bath bombs, I take naps when I need them.
How do you practice self-love?
I have a folder on my phone of pictures I have taken of myself that I like. Just to show that I am beautiful no matter what I sometimes tell myself.
How does another woman’s beauty make you feel? Empowered? Threatened? Jealous? Why?
Another woman’s beauty makes me feel a few different ways. As a bisexual woman, another woman’s beauty is attractive to me and can be a turn on. Seeing a woman own herself and her beauty and sexuality is also pretty empowering to see as that isn’t something that I spent much of my life being able to do. At the same time, another woman’s beauty can also make me feel very jealous. For instance, I’m very self conscious about my thighs and the stretch marks and cellulite I have there. When I see a woman without those things, I unfortunately have the thought that runs through my mind of “Oh, I would be so much prettier if I looked like that.” It kind of depends on the day and how I’m feeling about myself in terms of how another woman’s beauty makes me feel.
I try not to feel too negatively about another woman’s beauty, especially when compared to the beauty I see in myself. I saw a quote somewhere online (probably Instagram) that goes along the lines of “Everyone is beautiful in their own way. Flowers are beautiful in a way that Christmas lights are not and vice versa. That doesn’t mean that both can’t be beautiful.” Just because I don’t look like a beautiful woman that I see on social media or out and about doesn’t negate the beauty that I have. It’s taken a lot of time to try to internalize that thinking and some days its easier than others.
Do you think competition exists between women?
I wish it didn’t but it does. With shows such as “The Bachelor” and beauty pageants like “Miss America/Miss Universe/Miss Teen USA,” it kind of makes it difficult to see situations where competition between women doesn’t exist.
I wish more time could be spent building each other up as opposed to competing with each other but I think we all fall into the trap of competing with one another about some thing or another.
How do you feel about the rise in popularity of fillers, lip injections, hair removal, eyelash lifts, etc.?
I’m of the mindset that if someone wants to do something to their body and it’s to make them feel good, then it’s their body and they can do with it what they want to.
That being said, feeling like you “need” those things in order to be “perfect/beautiful/wanted” is another thing entirely.
What is the most beautiful sex you’ve ever had? Why?
I’m very fortunate to be in a long term relationship and we have had a lot of time to explore what each other loves during sex. Something that I love to do (and my boyfriend loves doing as well) is he will eat me out while I’m riding his face and I always feel amazing when that happens. From that position, he is able to grab my ass or my tits while I squirm around on his tongue.
What makes you feel free during sex?
Knowing that I’m with a willing and loving partner and we get to explore our desires together.
What turns you on?
-Getting my neck kissed
-Dirty talk before and during sex
-Being teased and denied before getting what I want
-Having my ass squeezed
How in touch are you with your period? (If you have one). Are you happy with the materials that exist for periods? (Tampons, diva cup, thinx)
I’m on a birth control pill so I know exactly when it is coming and what to expect. I’m pretty happy with the materials that exist for periods, even though I haven’t tried all of them yet.
How do you honor yourself during your period? (If you have one).
I give myself a break when I feel myself getting overwhelmed when my emotions are running high.
If you could describe WOMEN in three words what would they be?
Powerful. Stunning. Enduring.
What do you fucking love about being a woman?
There are so many awesome goddamn women out there and I hope to be one of them.
Hannah M, 24, from Southern California
What does being a “woman” mean to you?
Being a woman means being rooted in your sense of self and your power.
When do you feel the most sexy and/or comfortable in your body?
I feel the most sexy after just showering, laying on my bed in a bra and underwear and just noticing the curves of my body in the mirror.
Describe a woman you know or admire, who for you embodies true self-love and sexual empowerment (you don’t have to name them if you don’t want to). If this woman is you, describe yourself.
She's unapologetic. She doesn't take any shit. Her love for herself is so full it pours out to others, but there is no sense of obligation. She loves because she wants to. She makes everything beautiful because she makes things that make you feel. She's not afraid of her own capabilities, and she invites you to understand it too.
Do you think it’s hard in this world to exist as “woman”?
It's hard to be a woman when you've been misunderstood. It's hard when people don't take the time to understand what being a woman means to me. It's hard because they think I'm something I'm not. It makes people uncomfortable when they see they don't know me, when they see I'm not the "woman" they thought I am.
How do you practice self-care?
I stand up for my feelings to others and myself. I make time for me to just be, whatever that means. I make time to pursue whatever I want in that moment. I treat my body kindly and give it movement and food that makes me feel good and company that treats me with respect.
How do you practice self-love?
I pursue things that make me excited. I give myself the opportunity to be who I know I can be. I accept myself as I am and take time to reflect on my strength, and I smile thinking about all I can still conquer.
How does another woman’s beauty make you feel? Empowered? Threatened? Jealous? Why?
I feel empowered and often turned on. She is art.
Do you think competition exists between women?
Women are conditioned to compete with each other, no question in my mind. I think it takes a lot of intention to unlearn it, but there is great power in sisterhood. Sisterhood could undo the misogynistic system we live in.
How do you feel about the rise in popularity of fillers, lip injections, hair removal, eyelash lifts, etc.?
I think women are pursuing their own ideals of beauty. It's a shame that often those ideals are influenced by an unattainable standard. I think women should feel empowered to enhance their bodies and have that autonomy. I wish it wasn't driven by a capitalistic mindset where even our bodies are taught to consume as a measure of our worth.
What is the most beautiful sex you’ve ever had? Why?
It was with a long-time partner and objectively nothing special. It wasn't just about the sex; it was about all the conversation we had had that past week, the challenges we had faced together, the way we had shown up for each other. I felt connected and loved and safe. I felt seen and understood. I could see his face in the moonlight, and I kissed him as we had sex as I had many times before. But somehow it was different. It was softer around the edges. It held me instead of gripped me. This sex knew I could have left, but I stayed, and I knew the same about him. We had both chosen to be there, knowing all that we did about each other. It wasn't angry. It wasn't spiteful. It wasn't forceful. It was accepting. It was unconditional, and we were experiencing that together for the first time.
What makes you feel free during sex?
Security. Communication.
What turns you on?
Subtlety. Finesse. Humor. Confidence.
How in touch are you with your period? (If you have one). Are you happy with the materials that exist for periods? (Tampons, diva cup, thinx)
I'm more in tune than most, I think. I know when it comes and understand how it affects my mood and mental health. I'm not sure I know what the other options are, but I think a tampon tax and period products that pollute the earth are bullshit.
How do you honor yourself during your period? (If you have one).
I make myself as comfortable as possible through what I wear, what I plan to do, who I speak to and about what, and what I eat.
If you could describe WOMEN in three words what would they be?
Dynamic. Powerful. Intuitive.
What do you fucking love about being a woman?
I fucking love expressing myself. It's a fucking privilege, and I fucking love it.
Susanne, 23, from Holland
What does being a “woman” mean to you?
For me, being a woman means being multifaceted and complex. It means being an amalgamation of intelligence, courageousness, compassion, beauty, sexiness, power, confidence and so much fucking more!
When do you feel the most sexy and/or comfortable in your body?
I feel most sexy when I'm in control of how I feel about myself, whether thats how I feel about my body, my life, or my emotions. When I can look at myself in the mirror, no makeup, messy hair, cellulite, pubes and all and go "I'd fuck you".
Describe a woman you know or admire, who for you embodies true self-love and sexual empowerment (you don’t have to name them if you don’t want to). If this woman is you, describe yourself.
This is tricky because I don't think I know a lot of women that actually love themselves fully. I really admire women who practice self love and stay away from negative self-talk.
Do you think it’s hard in this world to exist as “woman”?
100%, it means so much in so many different contexts and sometimes its difficult to figure out what context you fit into and where you like to situate yourself as a woman without doing it for someone else i.e. men.
How do you practice self-care?
I give myself time and space to decompress. I have a shower, get into a bathrobe, light some candles, listen to some music, put on a face mask, watch some TV, whatever my mind and body needs to feel looked after.
How do you practice self-love?
I fucking forgive myself! As women we are often our own worst critics and I think its so important to cut yourself some slack and forgive yourself. All we do is second guess ourselves, so its important to practice allowing yourself to feel the way you feel without shame or guilt.
How does another woman’s beauty make you feel? Empowered? Threatened? Jealous? Why?
I mostly marvel at other women's beauty but I do catch myself being jealous of someones beauty because I've obviously been programmed to think we're all in competition with each other and that somehow someone else's beauty might take away from mine, even though it doesn't!
Do you think competition exists between women?
Yes but for the wrong reasons.
How do you feel about the rise in popularity of fillers, lip injections, hair removal, eyelash lifts, etc.?
Not vibing with it whatsoever. Its a toxic culture that teaches girls and women that the way they are au naturale is not good enough.
What is the most beautiful sex you’ve ever had? Why?
It was a very standard sex-in-the-bed experience, nothing romantic but we were lying on our sides completely entangled in one another and we had the best rhythm and it just felt so fucking passionate - as if we couldn't get closer if we tried.
What makes you feel free during sex?
I feel free during sex when I feel like I can completely be myself, so I think it depends on the partner I'm sleeping with, if they make me feel comfortable enough.
What turns you on?
I love being teased, gently touched and kissed all over, just building tension.
How in touch are you with your period? (If you have one). Are you happy with the materials that exist for periods? (Tampons, diva cup, thinx)
Pretty in touch, I feel it coming on and I know exactly how I get when I'm on my period. I haven't used anything outside tampons and pads but I'm very open to new developments!
How do you honor yourself during your period? (If you have one).
I give myself a fucking break, I just take care of myself: I eat what I want and I accept my body is gonna be out of whack for a few days. I also cry an obscene amount hahah
If you could describe WOMEN in three words what would they be?
MAJESTIC, COMPLEX, INCREDIBLE
What do you fucking love about being a woman?
I love the sensuality of being a woman. I love the force of being a woman. I love that women are as deep as the fucking ocean.
Victoria, 20, from Austin, Texas
What does being a “woman” mean to you?
Being a woman means being strong but kind, loving, and empathetic. I am still discovering what being a woman means to me, I have yet to fully experience all life has to offer. Right now, being a woman means understanding the difficult parts of life, and taking them head-on with grace and dignity.
When do you feel the most sexy and/or comfortable in your body?
I feel the most sexy and comfortable in the morning after I've had a restful night of sleep, and after I've had a healthy meal.
Describe a woman you know or admire, who for you embodies true self-love and sexual empowerment (you don’t have to name them if you don’t want to). If this woman is you, describe yourself.
The woman who inspires me and moves me is Molly-Margaret Johnson! She is an incredible sexual health, self love, and relationship influencer on Instagram! She is the embodiment of acceptance and love, and is freaky as hell. I love reading her loving answers to followers questions and how much she strives to be as authentic as possible, and how she inspires and encourages everyone else around her to do the same. I highly suggest everyone go follow her, her handle is @whatswrongwithmollymargaret!
Do you think it’s hard in this world to exist as “woman”?
I think it's becoming easier and although we as a society are still bogged down by the patriarchy, I am so moved and proud seeing so many women succeed in this world. I think your rate and trajectory of success in this world is directly influenced by how motivated and dedicated you are. Existing in this world as a women is difficult if you don't have the drive, which is absolutely fucked because men can succeed with 1/5th the effort.
How do you practice self-care?
I practice self-care by being very diligent about drinking water, nourishing my body and moving in a way that makes me feel sexy, which in my case is Pilates, yoga and Barre.
How do you practice self-love?
I practice self-love by having weekly sexy photo-shoots in my room during golden hour! I've always had a complicated relationship with my body, and have recently recovered from anorexia. Looking at photos I've taken and affirming myself makes me feel sexy and confident.
How does another woman’s beauty make you feel? Empowered? Threatened? Jealous? Why?
This is a tricky question. I've always been bothered by how naturally judgemental I am. I am moved by other women's beauty and I often do feel inspired, but more than not, I tend to feel threatened, and sometimes jealous. I have a lot of internalized problems with my own beauty, and the lack of it, in my eyes. I am working on being proud of and happy for other women, and I have made great strides in the past 6 months.
Do you think competition exists between women?
Unfortunately, I think it does. Even though there has been so much positive change in the female world, I still think we have a long way to go.
How do you feel about the rise in popularity of fillers, lip injections, hair removal, eyelash lifts, etc.?
More power to ya! Whatever makes you feel beautiful and confident and sexy, the world is improved by happy people and if you love yourself, you put love into the world, which is what we need right now.
What is the most beautiful sex you’ve ever had? Why?
I actually had the most beautiful sex to date last night! I cannot believe how incredibly I am turned on by him. This past year I did some deep soul searching after multiple failed FWBs and ONS, and came to the conclusion that I am demisexual. Since then, I've been making a point to be more frugal with my partners and take my time. Last night, a guy who I've been seeing for a couple weeks took me to see Little Women, and I took him home with me. Every time he touched me, it felt like my skin was electrified.
What makes you feel free during sex?
The knowledge that my partner find me indisputably attractive is what makes me feel free. I once asked a man what I could do for him while we were making love and he just said "Keep being a piece of artwork", and my heart melted.
What turns you on?
Passion! Total, unbridled passion. Constant touches, and affirmations. Hold my hand and kiss my neck, stroke my jaw and run your fingers through my hair. Make me feel like the only woman on Earth that you want in bed.
How in touch are you with your period? (If you have one). Are you happy with the materials that exist for periods? (Tampons, diva cup, thinx)
The past 3 years haven't been so rich in the way of periods (anorexia robbed me of one, and an IUD has taken it away completely), but I am very happy with all of the options. I wish I still had one, as it makes me feel feminine and at one with myself, and it makes me feel connected with other women. I miss participating in conversations about it. but I'm slowly coming to terms with it. Although I don't bleed, I still have hormonal changes, but I still don't quite feel like myself.
How do you honor yourself during your period? (If you have one).
I allow myself to wallow and feel, and I let myself indulge in whatever creature comforts I'm craving, whether that be food, sex, alcohol, or impulsive choices.
If you could describe WOMEN in three words what would they be?
brazen, nurturing, indestructible
What do you fucking love about being a woman?
EVERYTHING! I love my pussy, my breasts, I love the power I hold and I love knowing exactly what I'm capable of and exactly how to get it.
Imaniushindi K Fanga, 22, from Boulder, Bangui, Kinshasa, Dakar.
What does being a “woman” mean to you?
Being a women means the right to have a choice. As a matter of fact, the freedom to have choice.
When do you feel the most sexy and/or comfortable in your body?
I feel sexiest coming out of the water, with my bikini bottoms made to match my shades.
Describe a woman you know or admire, who for you embodies true self-love and sexual empowerment (you don’t have to name them if you don’t want to). If this woman is you, describe yourself.
My Mother is an great example of a women who carries grace, poise, cunning and street smarts. Her rich legacy as embued my path for an abundant future. Her light has elucidated/ illuminated my life with more hands than I have to count with. Shout out to you forever and always my Mama Africa, my diamond, my mentor, my shell when I’m afraid of the pour and rain, my Bora Uzima.
Do you think it’s hard in this world to exist as “woman”?
When it comes to being a woman now is the time I saw no more. No more excuses why or why not women should be able to express themselves freely without have subliminal or explicit social pressures shoved down our throats. I rave with my god given intellect that I share with the women and children around me. No man. No other women. No creature can hush the sound of my voice. So yes even if it’s hard to be a human being no less than it is hard to be a women. We are beautiful spaceships that fertilize the earth and we will fight for our equality. We understand, discover, and feel things outside male comprehension and it should be common scholarship what we-as females- need and do what we want.
So many women have dark and beautiful histories because of their gender. Do not mistake it for weakness it is our strength that gives our species life.
How do you practice self-care?
Here’s a short list of what to listen to: Self Care by Mac Miller, Alright and If These Walls Could Talk by Kendrick Lamar, Earth Gang.
DRINK WATER et MANGÉ DES LÉGUMES PRENDS SOINS DE TOI AU BEIN TANT PIS POUR VOUS MON AMOUR.
How do you practice self-love?
I practice self love in a vigilant way. I don’t want to be distracted and confused by warped body standards and desires. Give me products that will nourish my body to the fullest extent so I can be my best to contribute to the global web society we live in today. I want to be the seed that shares my scars and my tastes with the world without being second guessed at every corner. It’s 2020 for the love of god! Let me be healthy and happy without having to worry about all the secondary bullshit that comes with false images of beauty. I've seen so many women and men that I’ve loved ferociously and it didn’t have anything to do with there Gucci belt or VVS watch.
How does another woman’s beauty make you feel? Empowered? Threatened? Jealous? Why?
When it comes to how I see myself and other women I have deep desire for community. I had no great LBTQ black and proud females to look up to unless I saw the on TV and that few and far in between. I know petty things come and go it is hard to overcome, but I knew I was gay when I looked into Cesearai’s eyes her smile her mascara heavy on her face told me something good. I didn’t want it to end.
Female beauty is my medicine and sharing it together like the bad bitches we divinely are is a gift and then some.
So be sexy whatever that means to you ! As long as it helps pave a way for others to do so too.
We leaving negativity all the way back in 2019. We ain’t got time for dat.
Do you think competition exists between women?
I don’t compete with my hoes we just ride and get this bag yaaaaaa dig. #ridethewave2020
How do you feel about the rise in popularity of fillers, lip injections, hair removal, eyelash lifts, etc.?
Filters are fun. plastic surgery for cosmetics reasons is wack-you usually don’t need it. REFER TO Q #5. social media is a hyper image conscious social trap, live your life tell your story as honest as you can. Don’t fall short in to narcissism less you forget how to love. Eat a dick if you out here trolling people for no damn reason, get a life. Get off the screen often it will damage your retinas and ruin the moment. Film the beauties and horrors of your life ❤
Social media goers should behave like how they would want to be treated. Use it for promotion but forget the hype the gold is in you. It’s a great place to share what you want to share and promote new ideas for years to come.
What is the most beautiful sex you’ve ever had? Why?
Best sex was on a roof top in Italy, Venice. I was on a school trip, I snuck away from the group. Meet a cutie on a metro boat on the way to the Lithuanian Pavillion, 58th International Art Exhibition La Biennale du Venezia to see BARZIDZIUK’S new opera piece , SEA AND SEA (Marina) for the second time. Took me to his place and..... I forgot my JBL at his. I want that next time to be with a Bahama mama.
What makes you feel free during sex?
Let's play games.
What turns you on?
Let's play games.... bite my ear a lil bit, suck on it. tell me what you want. I might say yes. lets smoke a joint. let's watch a james dean or tarintino movie. Ill be yours youll be mine, how ever long that lasts.
How in touch are you with your period? (If you have one). Are you happy with the materials that exist for periods? (Tampons, diva cup, thinx)
My period oh, dude. Let's get started..... Im so done with it. I know its a women thing, but god just ugh painful. honestly, I cant imagine what it was like for us during the black plague in 1347-1351. Like just bodily fluids everywhere. Its definitely better now. Tampons go all the way back to Ancient Eygpt I gotta thank Earle Hass for that one. However, there is still more to do, male and female entreprenuers would be making a mistake if they neglect the global women pharmacetical market. I got an IUD when I was 18 and it was the best thing that happened to me. Not so many women are so privileged to know not only where to get vaginal inspections, but treatments for our special hormones and enzymes. I mean women used to be considered and in some places still are considered deranged if they wanted to address their homoronal and vaginal pains. Once, I got my IUD I stopped stressing as much about pregancy and unprotected sex, but understand I aint no dummy; women get raped, circumsized, insitutionalized, deformed, and beaten for their reproductive rights so I make no exemptions when I start freaking out if im pregant when my nipples start to hurt my time of the month. It just reminds me that if I got a tampon and someone needs it, bitch I gotchu.
How do you honor yourself during your period? (If you have one).
Crawl up into a ball and pray, take some chocolate breaks, have a panic attack, call my mom to calm me down, talk politicals with my dad. masturbate.
If you could describe WOMEN in three words what would they be?
Gaia, Gaia, Gaia
What do you fucking love about being a woman?
Very loaded question, thank you for asking, I don't like feeling forced or persuaded aggresively into sex; this is my body and I'm not giving any one who doesn't respect it or wants to use it for their own personal intrerests and gains an invitation. I dont like being put down or my feminitiy being seen as a weakness, but I love being a women, and I wouldn't want to change that, there were times really I did, but I have grown away from that frustration. Especially since man and women have both grown culturally and physically more adrogynous from our ancient ancestors. Lastly, and most importantly I dont want my wages and work to be devalued under a patriacharical system, my labour means just as much as men's work sometimes even more. I don't think the global public have ammassed the social consciousness that women have undiscovered and specialized usefulness/knowledge that many men don't have to offer. But to answer cheekly, everything, I love everything about being a women even the dark days makes the sunshine feel brighter.
Molly, 18, from Irvine, California
What does being a “woman” mean to you?
To me, being a woman means empowerment, courage and just being myself essentially. I feel that owning the things I love & who I am & my body is empowering, I think my courage makes me a woman, as well as other strengths and flaws I have. All the things that are a part of me, represent my womanhood.
When do you feel the most sexy and/or comfortable in your body?
I feel the sexiest when I’m either wearing an outfit I love or dancing alone in my room in lingerie. When I can get into a complete zone of self-love, non-judgment, & no one else’s opinion, I’m on top of the world <3
Describe a woman you know or admire, who for you embodies true self-love and sexual empowerment (you don’t have to name them if you don’t want to). If this woman is you, describe yourself.
Self-love is the most important thing in life I believe personally I am very close to complete self-love; however, I would say I do embody it because I don’t think any of us can completely love ourselves every day. I think that doing just even just a little bit of it, and doing everything you can to LOVE yourself, embodies the whole principle. I also am a huge advocate for sex, the empowerment of us as individuals, and simply just talking about it. Any chance I get with virtually anyone I try to talk about sex, or masturbation because it’s empowering, and it shouldn’t be a stigma. No woman should ever feel uncomfortable for touching their body or talking about their wants due to SOCIETAL expectations.
Do you think it’s hard in this world to exist as “woman”?
I wouldn’t call it hard necessarily, but I do believe we experience a lot of disadvantages, and certain things are hard. We have to pay more attention while in an elevator, parking lot, or literally anywhere. As a victim of sexual abuse, I tend to want to be in control but that isn’t a reality for anyone, but more so women. We still experience sexism and stereotypes, and it’s disgusting. I feel that we are so strong though, as women and we really can fix these issues.
How do you practice self-care?
My main practice would probably be therapy lol, but I am working on relying on myself more. I’m trying to view my life through a lens of if therapy wasn’t available and what I can do at the moment I feel I “need” someone. My main things would be writing, watching my favorite movies, listening to music, working out, eating healthy, and doing things that make me feel productive. Productivity is different for everyone too, so I feel that even “small” things like getting out of bed and doing something when your depressed isn’t “small” its extremely hard and we as people deserve more credit for being as productive as we are, especially in times of hardship.
How do you practice self-love?
I mainly practice self-love by working on the things I don’t like about myself, and things that I truly have a reason to not like; whether that be the way I react to someone or something I say to someone, etc. When I work on these things slowly but surely, I love myself more and more. A huge part of it for me as well is accepting my “flaws”, like things I don’t like about my face or stretch marks and taking power in them. I also think that since I stopped judging or comparing myself to other people so often, for whatever reason it was, I love myself vastly more. ALSO—by buying myself things like flowers!!
How does another woman’s beauty make you feel? Empowered? Threatened? Jealous? Why?
I oftentimes will say “I’m so jealous of her” because I feel they possess something I don’t; yet, in reality, I don’t know that as a fact. I have tried to work on that, and not let someone else’s beauty, dull my own because it just doesn’t matter. At the end of the day, it’s up to me how I view myself, and I am fucking beautiful, and I do just believe, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”, so it’s all subjectivity anyways.
Do you think competition exists between women?
100%. I think as women we feel a higher pressure than men to “succeed” or be the best at something because we already don’t have the leg up that they have. It makes me sad though because I feel us “competing” does the opposite of what most of us want, which is equality. Once we come together and stop judging each other, I think we can really make a difference.
How do you feel about the rise in popularity of fillers, lip injections, hair removal, eyelash lifts, etc.?
I personally am an advocate for natural beauty, but even more, I’m an advocate for women. So, if any woman wants to get lip injections I don’t care, it isn’t personally a choice I would make but that doesn’t matter. The whole point of this movement is saying “we can do what we want” and not caring about any man or woman’s opinion because it’s irrelevant. For some women they want fillers, I don’t shave often and that makes me feel empowered. I am for whatever makes a woman feel empowered!
What is the most beautiful sex you’ve ever had? Why?
When I lost my virginity, that was the most beautiful sex I’ve had. It was awkward, uncomfortable, non-orgasmic (lmao), exhilarating, safe, and it was with someone I love more than anything, and someone who felt the same. I feel that a lot of pressure goes onto how the “sex” was, and not the experience. I highly doubt any virgins first time is great sex, but it was a beautiful experience because it was imperfect and that is so incredibly beautiful. There was no concern about what this person thought about me and vice versa, we were comfortable with being in that awkward, hilarious situation.
What makes you feel free during sex?
I feel the freest during sex when I am completely unapologetically myself. When I look natural, it’s in the moment, and when I am not shaved and “imperfect” from society’s point of view. I feel so free when I’m simply owning my body and sexuality in every way.
What turns you on?
SO MANY THINGS. Forwardness really turns me on, intelligence, someone feeling comfortable to be themselves around me and vice versa. I feel turned on when I’m in my lingerie dancing in the mirror. I’m mainly turned on by people who are authentic and simply themselves, as well all know that’s a hard thing to do and I admire that quality in others. As far as just anything, I love rings, hands, people’s voices & their unique qualities, creativity, stylish & a plethora of others. It amazes me how I get through the day sometimes with all of it ;) <3333
How in touch are you with your period? Are you happy with the materials that exist for periods? (Tampons, diva cup, thinx)
I’m very in touch with my period and my body in general. As much as it’s the red devil, and I’m experiencing the painful cramps while I’m typing this, it is here for a reason, so I feel the only option is to embrace it. I am happy about all the options, I am extremely unhappy, however, about what they cost because they should be free.
How do you honour yourself during your period?
I feel I honor myself by talking about it openly, and addressing it to anyone like it’s the same as any other physical ailment… because it is. I also give myself grace during the week for my emotional health and my body. I don’t bag on myself for eating cookies, or being “bigger than usual” I embrace it, and I let myself cry easily or scream or whatever the hell way I feel I can or should express myself.
If you could describe WOMEN in three words what would they be?
Underestimated, beautiful, resilient.
What do you fucking love about being a woman?
I love being such a strong person. When we go through things that statistically will happen to women more than men and come back from them stronger, I just feel nothing but pride. I love my beautiful, unique, body and all my lovely stretch marks. I love the fact that I feel we do have a unique POV and lens that we look at life through because it’s more real, and it's not through rose-colored glasses. I love that there are so many beautiful, strong, amazing WOMEN that all are in this category with me. I love being a woman for all it encompasses, and I wouldn’t trade it! <3
Well there you have it: The Womanhood, Self-Love and Sex interviews! I believe we should all spend time thinking about what our womanhood means to us. We, by no choice of our own, spend our days being told (by advertisements, movies, other people) what it means to be Woman. What products we need, how we should have sex, what we should wear, how our bodies should look, what weight we should be... Well fuck all that and ask yourself, what does womanhood mean to you?
Lots of love,
Clarke Rose