PHOTO BY @sarahbahbah
I don't want to say much about this project because I prefer to leave the sex-talking up to the WONDERFUL people I interviewed. All I can say, is that after reading everyone's responses my heart is WARM. It's so incredibly vulnerable and beautiful to read all of these experiences just in my little sex blog. I learned so much, I laughed so much, and I definitely want to bang the majority of people I interviewed after reading about their sex lives. I hope that you all enjoy reading these as much as I did!
Also, my interviews were typed and sent out. I copied and pasted their responses as to not change original meaning. That means there are some typos and they're a bit messy in places but TRUST ME you'll still understand their point. ALSO every SINGLE question I sent was optional. Including name, age, gender, sex, sexuality, and every interview point. THIS WAS A CONSENSUAL SEX SURVEY.
& to those that are interviewed below, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for your participation. I think everyone who reads your words will take something away from them, (much like I did) and maybe we will all stop being so weird about sex, and know that it is not only OKAY, but also fun and silly and sexy and educational to talk about sex!! AND NOT DIRTY OR SHAMEFUL.
Also I may or may not have answered my own survey because it looked like fun. It may or may not be in there.
So here they are, ENJOY! xoxo
ADAM, 24, MALE, HETEROSEXUAL
From ENGLAND, currently living as A WORLD NOMAD
When did you first have sex? 12
Is there anything you wish you had known before you had sex for the first time? I was 12 so probably a lotttt
How do you determine consent has been given? Body language, use of correct wording, can I put my penis inside you now question with a yes, now hurry the fuck up answer
When did you start masturbating? 11. Went down and proudly told my dad I could have children straight after my first wank
Do you feel that masturbating helps you discover what you like during sex? Mostly discovered I like a wet vagina more so than my hand
How do you define sex? Two types. One being passion and intimacy. The other an animalistic urge to use my penis to create multiple orgasms aka penis in a vagina
What is the best sex you’ve ever had & why was it the best sex you’ve ever had? It's difficult to claim that one sex session is the best. I think to discover true "best sex", sex needs to be repeated with the same person. If the level of intimate fire and passion filled with that constant energetic desire are the same during each sex session then that'll take the biscuit. So for me, it's got to be with the girlfriend. Sex with a randomer is great and all but it never compares to that feeling you get when you're having sex with the girl you're in love with
How do you define good sex? Again. I think good sex is defined differently for different concepts of sex. Eg. A one night stand or fuck buddy. Getting kinky and fucking each other like rabbits is great and the physical feelings you give each other can be intense. But then you look at sex between two people "in love" with the sheer need and desire to be inside the girl I'm in love with, feeling every part of her, feeling so close to her, strengthing and reinforcing this emotional and physical bond. Good sex isn't just about finding that g-spot or rubbing the clit or dick in a certain way. Although it does feel rather nice..
Do you have to orgasm in order for it to be considered “good sex”? For me personally to cum no, however I enjoy making the girl come to orgasm though so hopefully they consider that good sex in itself 😂
How do you define bad sex? When I think to myself why the fuck am I having sex with this girl multiple times during
What is the best place you’ve ever had sex? Most adventurous: on some boulders looking over lake Tahoe. Got spotted by a passing boat. Barrels of laughs that was 😂
Sex in relationships or sex when you’re single? Both totally different concepts again. Both have pros and cons. I think relationship outweigh the single
How do you stay safe when sleeping with multiple people at the same time? If with multiple I make sure I trust them enough to have unprotected sex. New partner equals Condom (for the most part)
Do you ask your partners if they’ve been tested? Always. Always. Always. Stay away from me if you haven't been tested
What form of contraception do you use, if any? Nope
What are some of your favourite things to say in bed? I don't really speak much. Maybe say I'm cuming towards the end. Although if I'm role playing then that's a different ball game
Would you have a threesome? If so, under what circumstances? Yep yep and yep. Two girls. Maybe two guys if I'm with a mate. Would also with the girlfriend if she would be down for it hint hint. (girl only though )
Do you like role-playing? Call me professor or doctor anytime
What’s your BEST sex advice? Don't be selfish. You'll enjoy sex a lot more if the other person enjoys it with you
If you were going to be a camgirl, what would your username be? Well i have a penis. So probably something like WanderDick because I like to travel
CAROLINE, 21, FEMALE, BI
From the USA, currently living in PARIS, FRANCE
When did you first have sex? 18, I never felt interested enough until then
Is there anything you wish you had known before you had sex for the first time? Though I don’t think virginity has to be ‘saved’ for ‘the one’ I wish I’d known to get to know my partner a little longer because he first time you have sex you’ll remember forever, so i wish I had made sure they were more decent smh
How do you determine consent has been given? When both partners agree to begin the act and agree THROUGHOUT the act
When did you start masturbating? 13. When I fell off my bed and it felt good SMH
Do you feel that masturbating helps you discover what you like during sex? Oui
How do you define sex? Everything after foreplay and some feeling up 🌝
What is the best sex you’ve ever had & why was it the best sex you’ve ever had? Sex that was both super passionate & loving and equally dirty
How do you define good sex? Dirty sex, but passionate sex is better
Do you have to orgasm in order for it to be considered “good sex”? No
How do you define bad sex? No eye contact, little regard for the partner, rolling over after, no talking after
What is the best place you’ve ever had sex? In the bathroom of ramen shop smh
Have you come from sex? If you have, do you come vaginally or clitorally? Or both? If you haven’t come from vaginal sex, can you come from oral sex? Can you come from masturbation? No have not come from sex, oral or vaginal, only from masturbation so far :(
Sex in relationships or sex when you’re single? In relationship because it feels more intense for me
How do you stay safe when sleeping with multiple people at the same time? Making sure each partner is clean but also getting my own checkups twice a year
Do you ask your partners if they’ve been tested? Yes
What form of contraception do you use, if any? The pill
Would you have a threesome? If so, under what circumstances? Yes if I was single/the one invited (it has not worked out well in a relationship for me)
Do you like role-play? Yes especially pretending we’re each committed to other people
What’s your BEST sex advice? Embrace yourself!!!
If you were going to be a camgirl, what would your username be? Idk I’m so boring I’ll let u know if I think of something
DANIEL, 21, MALE, HETEROSEXUAL
From ASTRAKHAN, RUSSIA, currently living in PARIS
When did you first have sex? At the age of 17, with my girlfriend.
Is there anything you wish you had known before you had sex for the first time? No, not really, I have already known how to not mess it all up, and that's all I needed. Everything else comes with practice.
How do you determine consent has been given? I ask, I look, I feel.
When did you start masturbating? Puberty period.
Do you feel that masturbating helps you discover what you like during sex? No, these are different things. In sex I orient on my partner, what she likes, then my turn comes :)
How do you define sex? Depends on the aspect. A reproduction method, a pleasure, an extreme intimacy between two people.
How do you define good sex? Almost loosing coscience. When you don't want to go anywhere and just cuddle.
Do you have to orgasm in order for it to be considered “good sex”? No, not always. For me my partners feelings are more important, because I will be pleased anyway :)
How do you define bad sex? When you're thinking about something else and not enjoying sex.
What is the best place you’ve ever had sex? Couch :)
Sex in relationships or sex when you’re single? In relationships, I can't really enjoy sex if I don't have feelings for another person. There is more to that.
How do you stay safe when sleeping with multiple people at the same time? I don't do that :)
Do you ask your partners if they’ve been tested? Yup, number one priority.
What form of contraception do you use, if any? Preservatives.
What are some of your favourite things to say in bed? DAMN
Do you like role-play? Yeah, nurses and nuns.
What’s your BEST sex advice? Don't get too excited :)
If you were going to be a camgirl, what would your username be? Волына :)
JULIA, 21, FEMALE, STRAIGHT (WITH A LITTLE FUN SOMETIMES)
From LAGUNA NIGUEL, Currently living in SANTA BARBARA
When did you first have sex? When I was 15, the summer after Sophomore year of high school.
Is there anything you wish you had known before you had sex for the first time? I would say I would have liked to know what I liked, but I think the fun part is actually getting to know yourself afterwards. I think just knowing that it is okay if it doesn't feel great the first time, because it will get better for sure.
How do you determine consent has been given? I think consent is always obvious, the concept of someone being confused whether or not consent has been given is bizarre to me. If she wants it, she'll let you know (or Ladies you better learn to so you can get what you want!!).
When did you start masturbating? Hmmm... I'm not sure a few years ago maybe?
Do you feel that masturbating helps you discover what you like during sex? Definitely definitely definitely, that way you can grab his hands and tell him whats good.
How do you define sex? Honestly I've gone back and forth about this for a while, I think if an individual counts it as sex then it counts, no matter what it is. For me, personally, its when you get some dick in ya.
What is the best sex you’ve ever had & why was it the best sex you’ve ever had? Oh man I am BLESSED to have had a lot of unbelievable sex in my day.... The best sex I've ever had is definitely when it's with someone that knows me and knows what I enjoy and wants me to feel everything as amazing as possible. I think oral is KEY to the best sex ever, because when he knows how to do it you will forget the name of any man you've ever thought about before him. A mixture of aggressive and passionate and tender is the best.
How do you define good sex? I think good sex is when you're laying there afterwards and your reaction is only to high five each other because you're too speechless for anything else.
Do you have to orgasm in order for it to be considered “good sex”? I think you can have good sex without having an orgasm, but its not THAT good. Women generally have a harder time orgasming so unfortunately our standards are lower for what good sex is. So if I only counted times I had a full-fledged orgasm as good sex than it would be rough. Having said that, I think we need to start raising our expectations and NOT FAKE ORGASMS ANYMORE. Let them wallow in the fact that they didn't please you.
How do you define bad sex? When he is selfish and doesn't try to make you feel good. Or when he's just bad and has terrible rhythm hahaha
What is the best place you’ve ever had sex? my bed. (funnest might be the ocean or beach or on top of/in cars)
Have you come from sex? Yes
If you have, do you come vaginally or clitorally? Or both? I have both. Great times. Clitorally is definitely easier, but if you can hit both... damn.
If you haven’t come from vaginal sex, can you come from oral sex? Best times have definitely been from oral sex, for SURE.
Can you come from masturbation? I can, but it's not as good as if someone else can really make you come.
Sex in relationships or sex when you’re single? Both can be extremely thrilling and good. Obviously when you're in a relationship the other person starts knowing your body and can hit the spots eventually every time which is amazing. But theres also the thrill of sex when you're single, it is definitely a hit or miss with them, but if they surprise you it's awesome.
How do you stay safe when sleeping with multiple people at the same time? You just gotta do your best ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Do you ask your partners if they’ve been tested? Sometimes
What form of contraception do you use, if any? Condoms
What are some of your favourite things to say in bed? I think I say "fuck" a lot but I haven't been with anyone lately that has evoked any other verbal compliments lol
Would you have a threesome? If so, under what circumstances? Yes, and I have, and if it's with good people I guess.. I would only want to do it if everyone is fun and ready to experiment sexually and not be weird about anything but just let themselves go.
Do you like role-play? I haven't done much role play.
What’s your BEST sex advice? TEACH MEN HOW TO GIVE GOOD ORAL SEX, if not for you, then for the next girl. I want to hug the women my ex's have fucked after me and say "you're welcome". It's OKAY to be selfish... don't ask how it is for them, fuck him, get on TOP and do your THING until it feels good for you, he'll have a good time either way. Get yours girl. Or boy. idk. Also, don't be self conscious. I can't tell you how many women I have had to pump up in order for them to get on top when they tell me about their sex life. You're beautiful, he's inside you, he obviously thinks so too. So stop thinking about your jiggle or whatever and hop on because that is one of the only ways (for me at least) to have an incredible orgasm from sex. Grab his hand and have him help you out too ladies.
If you were going to be a camgirl, what would your username be?
Juicy J
EMILY, 21, FEMALE, BISEXUAL
From CALIFORNIA, currently living in SAN FRANCISCO
When did you first have sex? 16yo with my high school sweetheart
Is there anything you wish you had known before you had sex for the first time? What a fucking orgasm was & what it definitely was not
How do you determine consent has been given? If both parties are conscious, in their right mind, and have had previous agreements upon sex (i.e. safe words, a committed relationship, etc.) ... this perspective is also coming from more often than not being in long term relationships.
When did you start masturbating? 18yo
Do you feel that masturbating helps you discover what you like during sex? It helps me give better direction, feel confident in myself in and my sexuality therefore leading to better communication and sexual discovery, lessens my need for other sexual partners, and helps myself along when a partner is little bit less endowed.
How do you define sex? Anything that gets you off I guess. I think you can have sex with yourself. I think sex includes oral, anal, blah blah blah. Phone sex is sex. Sexting can be considered sex. But at the base of it, it's a relationship (either with yourself or another person) of giving and taking pleasure & trust.
How do you define good sex? Good sex is defined by the person I'm having sex with. I've had incredible sweet loving, "I'm in love with you" sex. I've had mind blowing "lets make a video this is so good" ravaging sex. Good sex is when you find the balance & harmony between you and another person. Good sex is comfortable, explorative, trusting, and most importantly living in that moment 100%.
Do you have to orgasm in order for it to be considered “good sex”? Most good sex ends in an orgasm but when it's delicate and sweet sex, or sex that lasts hours on end it can still be good. If you had fun and enjoyed it why would it not be good? I guess there's a difference between good sex and the best sex.
How do you define bad sex? No chemistry, one sided. Sometimes if the person I'm with doesn't have any experience or natural ability, my heart wants to like help them and teach them and make them better but at the same time, I'm here for sex not to school you.
What is the best place you’ve ever had sex? In the arms of someone I was in love with. Once in the shower for three hours. A couple times on the floor. in bed. on a boat. If it was with him it was the best. It didnt work out. and he was a terrible boyfriend. but I loved him and the only way he really knew how to share love was through sex, that was the best sex. (kind of sad and unfortunate but you gotta remember the good right?)
Have you come from sex? If you have, do you come vaginally or clitorally? Or both? If you haven’t come from vaginal sex, can you come from oral sex? Can you come from masturbation? I have come from sex. I prefer to come vaginally through penetration but unfortunately my sexual partners since my last break up were not as well endowed and I have resulted in clitoral and breast stimulation. I come from masturbation. I even can come in my sleep.
Sex in relationships or sex when you’re single? Sex in relationships every time.
How do you stay safe when sleeping with multiple people at the same time? Condoms, having open conversation about testing and how many other parters (not numbers but just generally seeing other people) they might currently have, and birth control.
Do you ask your partners if they’ve been tested? not usually if there is a condom present even though herpes can be spread regardless... probably should start asking because many men get put off by that question when they have a condom and get defensive but fuck them its health.
What form of contraception do you use, if any? The pill, but intending to switch to an IUD
What are some of your favourite things to say in bed? asking them what they like & doing just that, instructing what i want, talking dirty a little here and there
Would you have a threesome? If so, under what circumstances? Eiffel Towering all the way.
Do you like role-play? could be fun in theory, i just haven't had the need to do so with a partner before
What’s your BEST sex advice? LOVE YOURSELF. be comfortable with yourself and confident enough to know what you like, or go find out what you like, and have the confidence to tell partners what you want or don't want - its about you too. Don't let it be all about another person. If someone you're fucking is simply trying to get themselves off from you, SKIP. NEXT. they're canceled.
If you were going to be a camgirl, what would your username be? LOVE this question. WideEyedEmma
TOM, 25, MALE, STRAIGHT
From ENGLAND, currently living in ASIA
When did you first have sex? 16
Is there anything you wish you had known before you had sex for the first time? I guess to switch things up rather then just the one position
How do you determine consent has been given? When both party's have agreed
When did you start masturbating? 12 I think
Do you feel that masturbating helps you discover what you like during sex? Not really
How do you define sex? An enjoyment factor but I guess if you were with a partner it could mean other things
What is the best sex you’ve ever had & why was it the best sex you’ve ever had? Was with a little toned aussie girl.. she knew exactly what she liked and what positions she liked .. rather than me second guessing which positions to put her in.
How do you define good sex? When she's willing to be adventurous with you and try different positions.
Do you have to orgasm in order for it to be considered “good sex”? Yes and no
How do you define bad sex? when she's laying there like a wet potato
What is the best place you’ve ever had sex? In a roof top pool looking over the bay.
Sex in relationships or sex when you’re single? Both are different
How do you stay safe when sleeping with multiple people at the same time? Pull out
Do you ask your partners if they’ve been tested? Most of the time
What form of contraception do you use, if any? No comment
Would you have a threesome? If so, under what circumstances? 2 girls
What’s your BEST sex advice? Be giving
ANONYMOUS, 19, FEMALE, BISEXUAL
Currently living in PARIS, from CALIFORNIA
When did you first have sex? On my exchange program to France when I was a sophomore in high school
Is there anything you wish you had known before you had sex for the first time? How painful it is the first time, that a woman should NEVER be on top the first time she has sex
How do you determine consent has been given? If we both consciously intend on having sex with each other, and the intent is 100% throughout the entire sexual act from both parties
When did you start masturbating? I don't remember, I think around 11 or 12. I was pretty young.
Do you feel that masturbating helps you discover what you like during sex? Not really, it only gives me a basis of what an orgasm is
How do you define sex? Sex for me is any sexual encounter with someone that goes further than just kissing, so that includes oral sex and orgasm initiated with the hands
What is the best sex you’ve ever had & why was it the best sex you’ve ever had? The best sex I have ever had was when I gave my boyfriend a blowjob on a cliff in Portugal during the sunset. It was the best because, even though I wasn't getting any literal sexual stimulation, I knew I was pleasing him, and that turned me on. Plus the gorgeous sunset and the thrill of potentially falling off the cliff.
How do you define good sex? When both parties are mentally, physically, and emotionally engaged.
Do you have to orgasm in order for it to be considered “good sex”? No.
How do you define bad sex? Bad sex is impersonal sex. Sex where the guy won't look me in the eyes, or has the lights turned off. Even when having rough sex. I need to know that they want me specifically.
What is the best place you’ve ever had sex? In the morning in my ex-boyfriend's bed, waking up with him. We didn't ever have to say anything. We knew we both needed each other. Or maybe in a bar bathroom in Dublin, that was exhilarating.
Have you come from sex? If you have, do you come vaginally or clitorally? Or both? If you haven’t come from vaginal sex, can you come from oral sex? Can you come from masturbation? I can only come when I have some sort of clitoral stimulation, so masturbation is a guarantee, and sometimes when my ex was giving me head.
Sex in relationships or sex when you’re single? Sex in relationships.
How do you stay safe when sleeping with multiple people at the same time? Have never slept with more than one person at a time, but use condoms, be on birth control I guess. Don't make stupid mistakes.
Do you ask your partners if they’ve been tested? I never ask them outright, but I do always try to have a sense before I sleep with someone. It took me a long time to ask my ex if he had anything.
What form of contraception do you use, if any? A low hormone birth control pill.
What are some of your favourite things to say in bed? "I want you inside of me, I want you to fuck me harder, etc." I used to be really shy when trying to do any dirty talk, but I feel more comfortable now.
Would you have a threesome? If so, under what circumstances? If I were to have a threesome, it would be with a man I'm emotionally involved with and then Rihanna. I don't think I could have another girl join in sex if I was dating the guy.
Do you like role-play? I've never done it, I'm curious about it.
What’s your BEST sex advice? Never be afraid to tell someone to stop, because if you're not 100% into it, you're going to hold on to some resentment. It's best to be honest. Also, experimenting is wonderful, but never try something that makes you uncomfortable just because your partner asks you to, or you think they want you to be a certain way sexually.
CHEYENNE, 21, FEMALE, BISEXUAL
From ORANGE COUNTY, currently living in ORANGE COUNTY
When did you first have sex? When i was 14 with a high school boyfriend
Is there anything you wish you had known before you had sex for the first time? Always pee after sex! That would have saved me many UTI’s if someone had told me that!
How do you determine consent has been given? For me personally I’ve never been in a situation where it isn’t clear that consent is mutual, but if it’s ever unclear there are lots of sexy ways to ask if someone wants to fuck you in my opinion.
When did you start masturbating? Very very young, probably around fourth grade when i figured out that sitting on the dryer was a fun hobby to have ha!
Do you feel that masturbating helps you discover what you like during sex? Absolutely! Masturbating gives you the freedom to explore you’re deepest most private thoughts and it can definitely surprise you what you find gets you off as you explore more.
How do you define sex? This one really made me think honestly haha! I define sex as an encounter between two or more consenting adults where bodily fluids are swapped or contacted. I don’t consider sex to be only when penetration occurs given my history with other women. I think it is a broad term that is entirely situational and ever adaptive.
What is the best sex you’ve ever had & why was it the best sex you’ve ever had? Every time i have sex with my fiancé is fantastic, we have had so much fun together. What first comes to mind is all the times we have had sex on the beach at night while other people are around. If you haven’t had sex in public i highly recommend it.
How do you define good sex? To me good sex is sex that makes me feel a high of emotion, not meaning that every time is love making, but any rush of emotions. For me those include fear, happiness, love, excitement, light hearted embarrassment (such as getting caught in public), and of course I have to include a great orgasm.
Do you have to orgasm in order for it to be considered “good sex”? Unpopular opinion, absolutely not, that’s the last thing on my mind when I’m having sex 90% of the time, I love getting off as much as the next girl but what I really love is the actual act.
How do you define bad sex? Sex that leaves you feeling empty, disgusted, or bad about yourself.
What is the best place you’ve ever had sex? As many exciting places I’ve had sex I’m gonna have to be boring and say the house I share with my man, i feel so free being alone with him.
Have you come from sex? If you have, do you come vaginally or clitorally? Or both? If you haven’t come from vaginal sex, can you come from oral sex? For a very long time through many sexual partners I never came from sex, I could get myself off in a second but partners just could never do it for me. My fiancé was the one who changed that bless his heart. I definitely only come clitorally however!
Can you come from masturbation? Yes!
Sex in relationships or sex when you’re single? Both! Sex whenever you want! Sex whenever it feels right! Sex with someone you love or someone you just want to have sex with!
How do you stay safe when sleeping with multiple people at the same time? Good judgement and honesty always, I’ve made some pretty questionable decisions through my sexual past but just don’t be afraid to ask people you trust for advice if you are unsure of a decision.
Do you ask your partners if they’ve been tested? Yes! But don’t forget they may not always be honest.
What form of contraception do you use, if any? Well I’m currently pregnant and we were trying to get pregnant for the last year so none!
What are some of your favourite things to say in bed? A lot of daddy talk occurs in my house which is by far my favorite, but even when that isn’t the subject we both tend to be very vocal, i love talking dirty it is completely a game changer for me.
Would you have a threesome? If so, under what circumstances? In the past yes, I’ve been in quite a few and they can be a lot of fun! Now it’s not likely but my fiancé and I are very sexual people so if the right opportunity presented itself and we both wanted it then why not!
Do you like role-play? Yes yes yes. Huge fan of it! We experiment with different ideas constantly! It’s so much fun and like i said earlier you might surprise yourself with what gets you off.
What’s your BEST sex advice? Learn to love yourself, learn that it’s okay to have fun during sex, the more comfortable you get with yourself the more comfortable you will get with your partner. Not everyone will like the things you like and vise versa, voicing your opinion about those things makes for much better sex. It’s okay to like certain things and it’s okay to not like certain things!
If you were going to be a camgirl, what would your username be? CONFESSIONAL i actually was a camgirl for a few years, so for that reason i will not be giving a name. But i will say making up a fake name was the hardest part of being a cam girl for me, I’m horrible of thinking up names!
ANONYMOUS, 21, MALE
From ALISO VIEJO, CA, currently living in SAN CLEMENTE, CA
When did you first have sex? 16 Is there anything you wish you had known before you had sex for the first time? I wish I had known it didn’t have to be so important. How do you determine consent has been given? A sober, verbal “yes” followed by a plethora of self conscious “You Sure's?” When did you start masturbating? I think when I was 13. Do you feel that masturbating helps you discover what you like during sex? In a direct action way yes but I feel like sex is way more about who it’s with. How do you define sex? I guess any sort of action involving one or the other’s vagina/penis? What is the best sex you’ve ever had & why was it the best sex you’ve ever had? Probably the sex I had with an ex after a breakup. It felt more intimate and unrestricted than we had been before for whatever reason. How do you define good sex? Sex when I/my partner just feel very comfortable and open with each other to try new things or just communicate what we want. Do you have to orgasm in order for it to be considered “good sex”? Not particularly, it’s difficult/I rarely ever orgasm but id say I’ve had “good sex” regardless. What is the best place you’ve ever had sex? A patio/partner’s parent’s room
Sex in relationships or sex when you’re single? Either/both, depends on the situation How do you stay safe when sleeping with multiple people at the same time? Open communication about being tested/contraceptives Do you ask your partners if they’ve been tested? Yes What form of contraception do you use, if any? Condoms Would you have a threesome? If so, under what circumstances? Honestly probably not, it sounds cool but I think I’m way too shy for that. Do you like role-play? Yea that can be awesome, trying interesting scenarios can be a lot of fun. What’s your BEST sex advice? Just be honest and open about do/dont’s.
GUESS WHO, 21, FEMALE, PANSEXUAL???
Currently living in PARIS, from ORANGE COUNTY, CALIFORNIA
When did you first have sex? A couple days before my nineteenth birthday with an ASSHOLE but the moment was perfect
Is there anything you wish you had known before you had sex for the first time? Mmmmmm, don't be scared. It physically closes your vagina to the incoming penis.
How do you determine consent has been given? With alcohol it's so difficult. A sober "yes" does it for me, but that's not always the case.
When did you start masturbating? TOO FUCKING LATE. 17 with a jacuzzi jet.
Do you feel that masturbating helps you discover what you like during sex? Kind of, but what I do to my clit my partners don't really do... But they can still make me feel sooo good.
How do you define sex? ANYTHING intimate that makes you a 'lil wet.
Have you come from sex? If you have, do you come vaginally or clitorally? Or both? If you haven’t come from vaginal sex, can you come from oral sex? I can come vaginally from vaginal sex and clitorally from oral sex
How do you define good sex? When I lose myself somewhere in it.
Do you have to orgasm in order for it to be considered “good sex”? No. I wish I came from sex every time, but I will get there. I will. I can have such incredible sex without orgasming.
How do you define bad sex? Sex that is non-consensual or when someone is literally using someone else as an object to make themselves come. You have to care about the other person.
What is the best place you’ve ever had sex? A CASTLE EYYYYY
Can you come from masturbation? every damn time.
Sex in relationships or sex when you’re single? Lately, sex in relationships. But my one night stand phase was heaps of fun, other than all the people I hurt.
How do you stay safe when sleeping with multiple people at the same time? UGH FUCK THIS. Always on birth control and I try to use condoms.
Do you ask your partners if they’ve been tested? ABSOLUTELY, but watch out because people lie, and sometimes people just don't fucking know.
What form of contraception do you use, if any? THE PILLLL
What are some of your favourite things to say in bed? DADDY, I love feeling you all inside me, Oh baby I'm so wet for you, Fuck my tight little wet pussy (yes i know, i get kind of porn star-ish :/ )
Would you have a threesome? If so, under what circumstances? Of course. But preferably with two people I am attracted to but don't know too well. Miley Cyrus? Nick Jonas? And preferably everyone just got checked for STI's and has the doctor's stamp of approval in their hand.
Do you like role-play? So much. Gyno and patient is such a good one. I also love senior guy on the football team with freshman cheerleader.
What’s your BEST sex advice? Don't settle. Don't be an object. DON'T just have sex because someone wants to and you're like why not. Want it.
If you were going to be a camgirl, what would your username be? ROSEBUD OBVIOUSLY
HANNAH, 21, FEMALE, BISEXUAL
From LONG ISLAND, NEW YORK, currently living in LAGUNA NIGUEL, CALIFORNIA
When did you first have sex? I had just turned 15.
Is there anything you wish you had known before you had sex for the first time? I wish I knew what I was getting myself into.
How do you determine consent has been given? I believe it is when one is showing affection towards the other. If someone is not ok with it then they should say something right away.
When did you start masturbating? I was 7 years old.
Do you feel that masturbating helps you discover what you like during sex? Absolutely. It helps you figure out your own body and what pleases and irritates you. I believe no one else can understand your own body unless you touch yourself.
How do you define sex? Sex comes in all forms and ways. But I believe and understand sex like a dance. It is beautiful and powerful and emotional. Sex relieves stress.
What is the best sex you’ve ever had & why was it the best sex you’ve ever had? I was 20. And the guy I was fucking I have known for some time.. I will never forget the way he described it. It was so personal and moving it almost made me cry. But cry tears of joy not sadness. I felt like I could go on for hours and we did. The way he helped me I felt safe but when it got rough I wasn’t worried because I knew he would never hurt me intentionally. And I miss him very much.
How do you define good sex? BDSM !!!! I love hair pulling, lip biting, telling me what to do. Ass grabbing, choking, being in control. Good sex comes in all shapes and forms. Depends on what you’re into.
Do you have to orgasm in order for it to be considered “good sex”? No! If it is intimate and meaningful I believe it is considered good sex
How do you define bad sex? If either does not come I believe it is considered bad sex.
What is the best place you’ve ever had sex? In my grandfathers Bentley with my first love.
Have you come from sex? If you have, do you come vaginally or clitorally? Or both? If you haven’t come from vaginal sex, can you come from oral sex? Can you come from masturbation? Yes I have come from sex. Vaginally AND Clitorally. Absolutely I can come from masturbation.
Sex in relationships or sex when you’re single? Relationships : probably some of the best sex I will ever have in my life. I love sex with people I’m in relationships with because of the intimacy and connection being felt. Also being comfortable with the person and trying new things is always fun.
How do you stay safe when sleeping with multiple people at the same time? As of being single for over a year and a half now, I’ve had my fair share with sleeping around and the worst part is I hate condoms, but Ive been on birth control since I was 17 since I had an abortion and didn’t ever want to have to go threw something so dramatic to myself ever again. Also getting tested.
Do you ask your partners if they’ve been tested? Absolutely.
What form of contraception do you use, if any? Birth Control pill
ANONYMOUS, 21, FEMALE, STRAIGHT
Currently living in Paris
When did you first have sex? 14
Is there anything you wish you had known before you had sex for the first time? That you didn't HAVE to bleed.
How do you determine consent has been given? When both parties are in a state where they are able to give consent and agree to have sex then. As soon as someone doesn't want to anymore, consent has no longer been given.
When did you start masturbating? Probably around 12 but I don't think I had a fucking clue what I was doing haha
Do you feel that masturbating helps you discover what you like during sex? Definitely
How do you define sex? I have always thought of sex as being penetrative (that a penis had to enter the vagina) but one of my gay friend's considers sex all sexual acts (including foreplay etc.)
What is the best sex you’ve ever had & why was it the best sex you’ve ever had? I don't know if I can really pinpoint one time that was the best but there was one person who I had the best sex with and that was because he knew my body really well and knew what I liked and when we were having sex it felt like a sort of trance wherein time and space stood still and it was just two bodies moving in perfect synchronicity.
How do you define good sex? Good sex is when you finish and you're lying there breathless and tingly all over and you think to yourself "I don't want to do anything but this forever" - but I am very aware that this isn't how people feel every time they have sex (I certainly haven't felt this way every time) but still consider sex good.
Do you have to orgasm in order for it to be considered “good sex”? No
How do you define bad sex? When you really don't feel into it and your mind is thinking about other things and you're faking more than you're enjoying
What is the best place you’ve ever had sex? In a car on the beach with a hulky rugby player
Sex in relationships or sex when you’re single? Having sex with someone you're seeing is usually better than random one night sex because you know each others bodies better and you usually feel more comfortable so you're likely to enjoy it more.
Do you ask your partners if they’ve been tested? Yes
What form of contraception do you use, if any? I used to be on the pill (and use condoms) but went off it for health issues so now just condoms.
What are some of your favourite things to say in bed? "I love you deep inside me"
Would you have a threesome? If so, under what circumstances? I used to think I couldn't have a threesome with two guys because I thought it was going to be so much work but then I almost did (but didn't for reasons unrelated to it being a threesome) and I felt like such a goddess because they were all about just pleasuring me.
Do you like role-play? Never tried it to be honest but I feel like I couldn't take it seriously.
What’s your BEST sex advice? Don't do anything with anyone if you're not comfortable. It's not worth it.
HALEY, 23, FEMALE
Currently living in NEW YORK, from CALIFORNIA
When did you first have sex? I first had sex when I was 16, after homecoming, with my boyfriend. It was wonderful. Afterwards, we went and bought a pie from Marie Calendars.
Is there anything you wish you had known before you had sex for the first time? That it wasn't shameful.
How do you determine consent has been given? When both parties are enthusiastically participating.
Do you feel that masturbating helps you discover what you like during sex? Not particularly, they are different for me. Masturbating is a relationship between me, myself, and I. Sex is a partnership.
What is the best sex you’ve ever had & why was it the best sex you’ve ever had? I'd say it's tied. First would probably be with a guy I was seeing in college. I don't know what it was about it him, but we had amazing chemistry. Every single time felt like the best ever, he really made me fall in love with sex. It was multiple times a day, everyday. As cliche as it sounds, it was like we were fitting puzzle pieces. The second was with a really good friend. We rented a hotel room for two days and spent them just having sex. We were comfortable with each other, which let us just enjoy and explore.
How do you define good sex? When I am out of breath, shaking, and overwhelmed afterwards. When I am smiling throughout. When there is variety and playfulness. When there is intensity and eye contact.
Do you have to orgasm in order for it to be considered “good sex”? No, I don't think sex needs an orgasm. If it was passionate and enjoyable throughout, it was good sex.
How do you define bad sex? When afterwards I feel ashamed or sad.
What is the best place you’ve ever had sex? The balcony of a hotel in Vegas
Have you come from sex? If you have, do you come vaginally or clitorally? Or both? If you haven’t come from vaginal sex, can you come from oral sex? Can you come from masturbation? I can come from sex, vaginally or clitorally, or masturbation. The only thing that keeps me from coming is if I am too in my own head.
Sex in relationships or sex when you’re single? Both. I think sex in a relationship is wonderful and single sex can be equally as wonderful and passionate.
How do you stay safe when sleeping with multiple people at the same time? Condoms, and I have an IUD.
Do you ask your partners if they’ve been tested? I do now.
What form of contraception do you use, if any? Condoms and an IUD.
What are some of your favourite things to say in bed? Fuck.
Would you have a threesome? If so, under what circumstances? Yes I would. Either with two strangers or with a best friend and a stranger.
Do you like role-play? Yes.
What’s your BEST sex advice? Be confident, ask for what you want, enjoy yourself.
If you were going to be a camgirl, what would your username be? velveteenrabbit
ANONYMOUS, FEMALE
Currently living in Canada, from the USA
When did you first have sex? 16
Is there anything you wish you had known before you had sex for the first time? Yes, a lot. I wasn't at all experienced so the first time I had sex was the first time I did mostly everything, except for kissing.
How do you determine consent has been given? Discussing it with my partner and making sure we are on the same page. And if someone wants to stop we have to accept that.
When did you start masturbating? Mmm, I don't really do it but I'd say the first time I tried it I was 16.
Do you feel that masturbating helps you discover what you like during sex? Not really, for me personally. Because I found out what I liked from being with other people, not myself.
How do you define sex? I define sex as oral and/or penetration.
What is the best sex you’ve ever had & why was it the best sex you’ve ever had? The best sex for me is when I feel confident and when I am owning my sexuality. When I'm not fixating on the idea that society thinks what I'm doing is wrong which leads me to feel like I don't respect myself. When our bodies compliment one another well and when my partner is not only focused on their own pleasure but mine as well. When we are also on the same page and I feel comfortable and not judged.
How do you define good sex? I define good sex as not being in pain, it feeling natural and pleasurable. Also, a huge part for me is feeling safe, not feeling at all forced nor taken advantage of. My partner asking me if I'm okay and paying attention to my body language. I used to be less vocal about what I was feeling during sex because I felt guilty, even if that meant I was in pain and wanted to stop. As I've gotten older I stand my ground and take control of my body.
Do you have to orgasm in order for it to be considered “good sex”? I'd say yes, and I didn't decide this answer until I experienced with and without an orgasm.
How do you define bad sex? Being in pain. I am very tight so I am often times in pain to begin with so we have to take things slow. And if my partner doesn't accept that or seems annoyed, he's got to go.
What is the best place you’ve ever had sex? The shower for sure.
Have you come from sex? If you have, do you come vaginally or clitorally? Or both? If you haven’t come from vaginal sex, can you come from oral sex? Can you come from masturbation? I have come from vaginal sex, I think but only once or twice vaginally. I mostly come from oral sex though. Oral sex is by far my favorite because it allows me to climax the most. I've never come from masturbation, I've been close but never did.
Sex in relationships or sex when you’re single? I do both. But it depends on what I am feeling at that point in time. Am I just horny and need a hook up or do I need love with it? I prefer with someone who I am in a relationship with though because we have learned one another's bodies and what each of us enjoy. And more often than not when you're in a relationship we are mutually concerned in pleasuring one another and not just worrying only about ourselves like most hookups are.
How do you stay safe when sleeping with multiple people at the same time? Using protection
Do you ask your partners if they’ve been tested? Sometimes, which I should more but most of the time they get offended when I ask, as if that means I don't think they're "clean".
What form of contraception do you use, if any? I'm on birth control and I use condoms. Guys try to assure me that their pull out game is on point when in fact they are sloppy and I'm not risking it.
What are some of your favourite things to say in bed? I've been with a lot of people from all over the world and if I know they're language from their home country (which is usually sexier than english) we will say words in those languages. But I tend to say "fuck" if it feels really good and or "yeah baby" but I would say I'm more of a moaner.
Would you have a threesome? If so, under what circumstances? Yes and I wouldn't mind which genders. However, if I'm in a relationship with one of the persons I wouldn't want them touching or having sex with the other person, I would get jealous. And I'm not a jealous person but personally for me that would make me jealous. But I would expect us to talk about it first and make sure we are all on the same terms.
Do you like role-play? Never done it. But I don't think I'd be that into it, I like it to feel real.
What’s your BEST sex advice? Know what it is you like and know what it is your partner likes. I always ask about their weaknesses ;) and you can make it fun and sexy so it isn't awkward.
If you were going to be a camgirl, what would your username be? hahahaha I have no idea!
ANONYMOUS, 21, FEMALE, HETEROSEXUAL
Currently living in OREGON, from ORANGE COUNTY, CA
When did you first have sex? When I was 16 years old in my first boyfriends bed while his parents were out of town
Is there anything you wish you had known before you had sex for the first time? The only thing I wish I knew before we had sex was how much more attached to him it would make me
How do you determine consent has been given? Consent is only given if he or she says yes because she truly wants to, not because she feels pressured to do so.
When did you start masturbating? The first time I ever masturbated was on my family vacation when I was 18 years old. I had just started dating my high school boyfriend at the time and because we were apart I felt extremely sexually frustrated. After that one time I hadn't masturbated until August of this year.
Do you feel that masturbating helps you discover what you like during sex? In a way yes but I use sex to find out things that I like during it I didn't even know. If you're partner is good than hopefully he'll bring something to the table that you didn't even know was possible.
What is the best sex you’ve ever had & why was it the best sex you’ve ever had? I thought the best sex I ever had was with the first guy I have ever had sex with until we hooked up for the first time in 3 years a month ago and I had to keep myself from laughing during it. The best sex I have ever had was with this guy I was seeing over this past summer. He wasn't anything special in bed (oops) but the connection we had made it amazing.
How do you define good sex? IF THE GUY KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING!!! I HATE when the guy thinks its “hot” and “steamy” but going so hard that it physically hurts me. The more tender and sensual the better for me.
Do you have to orgasm in order for it to be considered “good sex”? I mean, no but it for sure helps.
How do you define bad sex? Like I said above, when the guy just goes as hard and fast as possible like that's not impressive or arousing at all. Or when there is no foreplay??
What is the best place you’ve ever had sex? Not very original but it was the back seat of his car parked out in front of my neighbors house. The whole car was shaking and I'm almost positive people walked passed..oops!
Have you come from sex? Yes.
If you have, do you come vaginally or clitorally? Or both? A combination of both i want to say.
If you haven’t come from vaginal sex, can you come from oral sex? Oral sex orgasms>>>>>>
Can you come from masturbation? Every time
Sex in relationships or sex when you’re single? What makes sex great for me is the connection I have with my partner. So majority of the time its better when I am in a relationship. But I have had one night stands that were even better than the sex Ive had in a relationship.
How do you stay safe when sleeping with multiple people at the same time? Honestly I haven't really had to deal with that. I always use condoms and Im on the pill so that helps.
Do you ask your partners if they’ve been tested? I am embarrassed to say I have not. But i really should start
What’s your BEST sex advice? Dont be afraid to be vocal and say whatever comes to mind. The more vocal I am the more I get into it which makes the sex that much better.
CATRINA, 21, FEMALE, BISEXUAL... OR JUST SEXUAL
Currently living in SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA, from SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA
When did you first have sex? 18
Is there anything you wish you had known before you had sex for the first time? I wish I’d known that you don't owe anything to someone you have sex with and they don’t owe you anything
How do you determine consent has been given? For me consent is usually just that neither of us are saying no.
When did you start masturbating? 17
Do you feel that masturbating helps you discover what you like during sex? Not really, well, the thoughts I have that lead to masturbating might. Being in tune with my thoughts and feelings. When I get that warmth and my brain starts focusing that is when I can discover what I like. Asking myself, what makes me feel this way?
How do you define sex? Sex is anything from oral to penetration.
What is the best sex you’ve ever had & why was it the best sex you’ve ever had? Currently I’m having sex with a man named Juan and sex with him is better than sex with anyone I’ve engaged in sexual relations with. I can’t put my finger on it but he magnetizes me to him and we have so much sexual chemistry. And he follows Catrina’s rules for Good Sex; 1. Passion 2. Orgasms 3. Communication ☺
How do you define good sex? 1. Passion 2. Orgasms 3. Communication
Do you have to orgasm in order for it to be considered “good sex”? I think that you need either two, or all three of “Catrina’s Rules for Good Sex”. They are interchangeable. If you have passion and orgasms you have good sex that might burn out quickly. If you have orgasms and communication you have good sex that you might get bored of eventually. If you have passion and communication you have the makings of good sex but you’re lacking the know-how. Now if you have all three, you have great sex. Go get’em.
How do you define bad sex? If you have only one or none of my three rules.
What is the best place you’ve ever had sex? Being that I’m 21 and live with my parents; the best place to have sex is anywhere you get a chance to with no interruption honestly. Oh, and a tree house.
Have you come from sex? If you have, do you come vaginally or clitorally? Or both? If you haven’t come from vaginal sex, can you come from oral sex? Can you come from masturbation? I have come from all of these things but vaginally only happens after a lot of foreplay and clitoral stimulation.
Sex in relationships or sex when you’re single? Sex whenever the fuck you want.
How do you stay safe when sleeping with multiple people at the same time? Working on figuring that out. I’ll get back to you.
Do you ask your partners if they’ve been tested? I should. You should. We all should. Do I though?
What form of contraception do you use, if any? Depends on my partner and our relationship and my mood.
What are some of your favourite things to say in bed? “Fuck me” “Harder” “Yes!” “I love you”
Would you have a threesome? If so, under what circumstances? Tried it. Failed. Not in a hurry to try again.
Do you like role-play? I think I do but I haven’t experienced enough.
What’s your BEST sex advice? Do you.
If you were going to be a camgirl, what would your username be? Hurricane Catrina
SABRINA, 21, FEMALE, BISEXUAL
Currently living in ORANGE COUNTY, CA, from ORANGE COUNTY, CA
When did you first have sex? When I was 18.
Is there anything you wish you had known before you had sex for the first time? I wish I had known more about consent.
How do you determine consent has been given? When both parties have freely given a yes to whatever situation is happening.
When did you start masturbating? 19/20
Do you feel that masturbating helps you discover what you like during sex? It helped me become more comfortable with my anatomy and understand where things are, but it’s pretty separate from sex with another person to me.
How do you define sex? An activity that brings two people close in an intimate way. I don’t consider oral sex to be on the same level as penetrative sex, but both are very intimate to me.
What is the best sex you’ve ever had & why was it the best sex you’ve ever had? The best sex that I have ever had was with my current boyfriend after getting crossfaded one night and it was really emotionally intense and we took our time with just being all over each other, there wasn’t any rush to get anywhere. We just wanted to make each other feel good.
How do you define good sex? I define good sex as where there is both give and take and it’s about both parties feeling connected to each other.
Do you have to orgasm in order for it to be considered “good sex”? No
How do you define bad sex? Sex where you aren’t in sync with the other person and where it’s just selfish sex.
What is the best place you’ve ever had sex? On the floor 😂
Have you come from sex? Yes
If you have, do you come vaginally or clitorally? Or both? Clitorally
If you haven’t come from vaginal sex, can you come from oral sex? Can you come from masturbation? Yes and yes
Sex in relationships or sex when you’re single? I’ve done both, prefer sex in relationships.
How do you stay safe when sleeping with multiple people at the same time? Getting tested regularly, using a condom, being on birth control.
Do you ask your partners if they’ve been tested? Yes
What form of contraception do you use, if any? Birth control currently
What are some of your favourite things to say in bed? Just asking if the other person feels good and what they like. Moaning too.
Would you have a threesome? If so, under what circumstances? No
Do you like role-play? No
What’s your BEST sex advice? Relax, don’t overthink what you look like or how you sound. Focus on how you feel and making the other person to feel good and everything will work out.
If you were going to be a camgirl, what would your username be?
wildestdaydream
Haha idk.
LIZ, 23, FEMALE, PANSEXUAL
Currently living in CALIFORNIA, from CALIFORNIA
When did you first have sex? Consensual sex...when i was 19
Is there anything you wish you had known before you had sex for the first time? Well I wish my first time was my choice..i feel like i was robbed of my first experience
How do you determine consent has been given? When both parties are of age, sober, and say yes
When did you start masturbating? 20
Do you feel that masturbating helps you discover what you like during sex? Not really
How do you define sex? Um to me sex is insertion...or getting off hahaha
What is the best sex you’ve ever had & why was it the best sex you’ve ever had? Best sex I’ve ever had...hasn’t happened yet because I don’t think I was in love with any of my sexual partners
How do you define good sex? Good sex to me is either in the way a female responds to how I touch her...or a man knows how to direct my body to please both of us
Do you have to orgasm in order for it to be considered “good sex”? No...
How do you define bad sex? No connection or no incentive BORING...like you have to spice it up
What is the best place you’ve ever had sex? I’ve had some pretty great car sex. Hahah.
Have you come from sex? Yeah.
If you have, do you come vaginally or clitorally? Both usually clitorally
If you haven’t come from vaginal sex, can you come from oral sex? Depends who is eating me out
Can you come from masturbation? Yes
Sex in relationships or sex when you’re single? Single
How do you stay safe when sleeping with multiple people at the same time? Birth control, i also don’t sleep with anyone I don’t know, being tested, making sure they’ve been tested
What form of contraception do you use, if any? Copper IUD
What are some of your favourite things to say in bed? I’m so wet... holy shit....oh my god...I’m not done with you...i love you...who’s pussy is that...or nothing sometimes it’s awkward to talk
Would you have a threesome? If so, under what circumstances? Yeah I’ve had them
Do you like role-play? Eh depends
What’s your BEST sex advice? Allow yourself to experiment. But sex without love comes to an end. Figure out what you want, find the right partner, communicate your needs sexually, and never get boring.
ANONYMOUS, 19, FEMALE, STRAIGHT
Currently living in PARIS, from USA
When did you first have sex? Just last year. I was raised in a very religious and anti-premarital sex environment so I didn’t start branching out until I arrived in Paris away from my family’s scrutiny
Is there anything you wish you had known before you had sex for the first time? Like everything. When I lost my virginity I had no idea what to expect or what to do because of the lack of education I received from my environment growing up and the stigma surrounding the topic of sex as a whole.
How do you determine consent has been given? Usually there is dirty talk as part of foreplay where either party asks if he/she can begin or something like that. There is always a question and answer.
When did you start masturbating? Honestly I don’t remember. Maybe 14/15
Do you feel that masturbating helps you discover what you like during sex? Not really. It’s an apples to oranges situation for me.
How do you define sex? As a heterosexual female, sex is vaginal penetration.
What is the best sex you’ve ever had & why was it the best sex you’ve ever had? I hooked up with this guy I met in the park who was very good looking and very in shape. As a woman who is tall and not skinny, it’s difficult to find a man who can fulfill the typical strong man role I seek in sexual partners. It sounds conceited, but it’s important for me to be turned on by a man’s appearance as well as what he can do and in this case it was the first time I had experienced both. We were two confident people who were able to adjust to the other person without making anything weird.
How do you define good sex? When both parties experience pleasure and “fun”.
Do you have to orgasm in order for it to be considered “good sex”? No. I think that’s setting the bar too high unless you have an excellent partner. In our day and age, we are just learning about how women experience pleasure, so I think maybe in the future when female orgasms are more common that could be a stipulation, but now I think if your partner pays attention to your needs as much as his/her own then that’s “good”.
How do you define bad sex? Bad sex is a little less concrete because so many factors can go awry. But I would say the main thing is if there is not an equality in the give and take between partners.
What is the best place you’ve ever had sex? MY house. Nothing can beat the comfort of your own home.
Sex in relationships or sex when you’re single? Both but my partner in my relationship was not the best sexual partner so as of right now I prefer single sex.
How do you stay safe when sleeping with multiple people at the same time? Personally I don’t sleep with more than one person at a time because I don’t have that kind of time, but I always make sure I talk with the person and know more about them and where they are mentally before allowing sex to be initiated even with partners I have had sex with more than once with. As a survivor of sexual assault this is very important to me.
Do you ask your partners if they’ve been tested? Not all of them although it is something I should do more often. I myself get tested regularly because I like to get rid of unnecessary worry and have confident answers when I am asked.
What form of contraception do you use, if any? Just condoms. My body is in a very delicate balance and I can’t use hormonal birth control. Also getting pregnant is my biggest fear so I do everything else I possibly can to make sure that doesn’t happen until I am able to support and love a child the way it should be.
ANONYMOUS, MALE, HETEROSEXUAL
Currently living in ENGLAND, from ENGLAND
When did you first have sex? When I was 14.
Is there anything you wish you had known before you had sex for the first time? Yeah....its ok to cum when you need to! Don't make it last forever, despite what movies tell you.
How do you determine consent has been given? Usually by asking 'are you ready?'. It used to be 'are you sure?'
When did you start masturbating? Actually after I had sex.
Do you feel that masturbating helps you discover what you like during sex? Only to an extent. It helps you know what feels good. But it wont really help with any turn ons you have.
How do you define sex? As a very intimate bonding experience for two or more people.
What is the best sex you’ve ever had & why was it the best sex you’ve ever had? This year. It was the last time I was going to see them for a long long time. There was so much raw emotion and feeling put into it.
How do you define good sex? It's when you just haven't been able to keep your hands off one another after. When you're exhausted but want it again.
Do you have to orgasm in order for it to be considered “good sex”? Absolutely not.
How do you define bad sex? Usually when its a bit awkward and 'bumpy'. Often happens when there isn't communication between the people involved.
What is the best place you’ve ever had sex? Honestly, in a bed
Sex in relationships or sex when you’re single? as in which do I prefer? Relationship! Every time.
How do you stay safe when sleeping with multiple people at the same time? Protection. All the time until I'm committed to somebody.
Do you ask your partners if they’ve been tested? Not as often as I should!
What form of contraception do you use, if any? Condoms mostly. Because theres no morning after pill for guys. And It's easier than going to see a judgmental doctor if I got an STI.
What are some of your favourite things to say in bed? 'Tell me how you want it' or 'I want you to take what I can give you' Depends on the mood.
Would you have a threesome? If so, under what circumstances? I would. I don't think there'd have to be special circumstances. Probably would have to be FFM.
Do you like role-play? Yes!
ANDREW, 24, MALE, STRAIGHT/QUESTIONING
Currently living in SAN FRANCISCO, from CALIFORNIA
When did you first have sex? Age 19
Is there anything you wish you had known before you had sex for the first time? I wish I knew that being a good partner isn't as much about skill as it is about listening.
How do you determine consent has been given? I normally ask what my partner wants to do specifically.
When did you start masturbating? My first memory of masturbating was at age 4.
Do you feel that masturbating helps you discover what you like during sex? Surprisingly, no. I used to think it would, but I can't do to myself what my partners can.
How do you define sex? I used to define sex as penis-in-vagina, but now I just define sex as two people enjoying each other's bodies to the point of at least one orgasm. I don't always need to cum, nor does my partner. In my opinion, if at least one of us came, we had sex.
What is the best sex you’ve ever had & why was it the best sex you’ve ever had? The best sex I ever had was a threesome I had with my girlfriend and my college crush in my apartment. Having both of them together and seeing the chemistry they had mad it way more enjoyable than just fucking each of them individually.
How do you define good sex? If I can make my partner cum, it's good sex. (except certain partners who have specifically asked to be edged and not allowed to cum)
Do you have to orgasm in order for it to be considered “good sex”? No, I've had plenty of orgasms in "bad sex" situations that I would take back if I could.
How do you define bad sex? Bad sex is sex where I don't feel heard. I always make an effort to do what my partner(s) want, but if I feel unheard or used, then even if I cum multiple times, I walk away feeling bad.
What is the best place you’ve ever had sex? The best place I ever had sex was on a massive mattress in a summer home my parents own.
Sex in relationships or sex when you’re single? Either.
How do you stay safe when sleeping with multiple people at the same time? My girlfriend and I use birth control, and I always wear condoms whenever doing any non-oral activities. We also test ourselves at least twice a year, and discuss STI's before any possible fun-times.
Do you ask your partners if they’ve been tested? Yes, we always ask our partners if they have been tested, or if they may have been exposed to anything. I test myself several times a year to be certain, but I always trust my partners enough to let them tell me whether or not they have been tested.
What form of contraception do you use, if any? I normally use condoms for anything other than oral, but my girlfriend uses birth control pills (also to help control her period).
What are some of your favourite things to say in bed? "Just sit back, I'm not done with you yet."
Would you have a threesome? If so, under what circumstances? Absolutely, my girlfriend and I actively seek out threesomes with our close friends. They have been some of the greatest sexual experiences we have had. Even in our own one-on-one sexual experiences, we discuss and fantasize about threesomes, both real and imagined. We find that they open up new opportunities and strengthen our friendships with many of the people around us. As long as our third person is reasonably healthy, our bedroom is always open for fun!
Do you like role-play? Although I have never been too involved in a role-play scenario, I feel like it could be fun.
What’s your BEST sex advice? Listen to your partner's requests and fulfill them, over and over. Earn your partner's trust, then let them trust you with their fantasies, then do exactly what they've always wanted. Worst case, you sexually satisfy your lover. Best case, they are incredibly grateful and return the favor.
If you were going to be a camgirl, what would your username be? If I were a camboy, I would name myself "bayboy"
ANONYMOUS, 21, MALE, STRAIGHT
Currently living in ORANGE COUNTY, from ORANGE COUNTY
When did you first have sex? Age 19, in college
Is there anything you wish you had known before you had sex for the first time? Honesty is more important than experience, or lack of experience. It’s more important that the two individuals know where each other stands so that you can set and achieve mutual goals.
How do you determine consent has been given? I used to not be very good at this.. Sex was always a taboo subject growing up, and that translated to some terrible communication in my sex life that I still struggle with. From now on, I will not accept anything less than explicit verbal consent. Weird as it makes me feel, it’s really the only way to know for certain. And it’s very reassuring to hear the person say yes. I will straight up ask the woman if she wants to have sex and that it’s cool if she’s not ready. I still maintain that throwing alcohol in the mix gets cloudy, because we all hate a monster like Brock Turner, but legally you are in his same position if the woman has had a single drop of alcohol. Personally I think it comes down to agency, which is not always clear in that context, and I’ll stay away if it is unclear, but agency isn’t totally lost if a woman has one drink or a few, depending on the individual.
When did you start masturbating? I started in high school. Summer of freshman year going into tenth grade. Watched porn pretty regularly for a few years before, but i was religious and masturbating seemed like a worse thing to do.
Do you feel that masturbating helps you discover what you like during sex? It at least gives you some kind of sexual outlet so yes I think it helps. I consider masturbation a sexual experience, and trying to limit that experience definitely hinders sexual discovery.
How do you define sex? Vaginal, anal, or oral. The only thing that doesn’t count in my book is masturbation. Even kissing can be pretty erotic with close body contact.
What is the best sex you’ve ever had & why was it the best sex you’ve ever had? I have pretty limited experience but the best sex I’ve had so far was in the back of my car when I was 20. It was a one night stand kinda deal with this girl that I had acquainted in high school. I knew her to be more experienced than I was, and she was aware of that fact, and decided it was okay to have sex with me anyways. That was a really freeing feeling, kinda felt like, if my performance isn’t being analyzed I can just have fun.
How do you define good sex? Both subjects are having a good time and nothing about it feels fake or transactional. If someone is not having a good time they become the object of the other persons satisfaction. Going forward with that would kinda feel like abuse. Personally, I like exploring and adding new techniques to my lexicon, and then trying those things on people that I have sex with and remembering who likes what. It’s like a person is a little puzzle piece and it’s really cool that there are so many varying configurations. Finding where my edges are and which configurations match up the best is what I enjoy the most.
Do you have to orgasm in order for it to be considered “good sex”? Not exactly, if I got the woman to orgasm I’d call it good sex on my part and whether I come or don’t come it will have felt good doing my part. There’s a huge spectrum though cause I’d obviously be more satisfied if the orgasm was more intense, and if we both experience intense orgasm, that is obviously the best. But then could be external moral conundrums, for example, what if I find out later that the woman I just had awesome sex with was married or a recent widow or something.
How do you define bad sex? One or more persons involved does not want to be there. In the previous example if I had known that the person was having sex as an emotional outlet I could not consider that good sex. I feel like this happens a lot.
What is the best place you’ve ever had sex? Back of my car, I’ve always been tempted and admired that risky public stuff though.
If you haven’t come from vaginal sex, can you come from oral sex? I personally have not yet but maybe someday
Sex in relationships or sex when you’re single? Never been in a relationship but I’d probably be in an open one so I don’t think life would change very much.
How do you stay safe when sleeping with multiple people at the same time? Asking them direct questions that you can hold them accountable to their answers both legally and socially.
Do you ask your partners if they’ve been tested? Yes I do
What form of contraception do you use, if any? Condoms and birth control only, one or the other, the phrase “pull out game” makes me cringe. I really enjoy science, and the numbers on that one coupled with the amount of people still getting surprise pregnant is appalling.
What are some of your favourite things to say in bed? I’m shitty at this sex as was a taboo subject growing up, it doesn’t seem very natural to me to say things during sex, besides losing control a little with the oohs and ahhhs. I find myself saying “ahh that hurts” when receiving oral. I think we could all be more receptive to that information. It’s common that people take it as an affront to their own sexual prowess.
Would you have a threesome? If so, under what circumstances
Yes. I could only have a 2 guy threesome with a close male friend or my brother and a woman that I know would really appreciate it. Nothing gay though in the threesome lol. Well, nothing gayer than having than your dick pretty close to another guys dick during dp or something. More conditions pop into my head the more I think about it. Like I guess if it were an orgy and some gay guys were there I’d feel kinda this is kinda weird but there isn’t exactly a guide for what to expect at an orgy. Like 99% of straight guys I’m down with 2 or more women. I’d feel like a guest star at a lesbian orgy if it got anything more than like 4 women and just me. That would be an honor.
Do you like role-play? Nah too expensive. In the future I want a bunch of cool sex stuff though and role play stuff is within reason.
What’s your BEST sex advice? OPENNESS is the way to go!
SHELBY, 25, FEMALE, BISEXUAL
Currently living in SAN JOSE, CA, from SAN JOSE, CA
When did you first have sex? 21
Is there anything you wish you had known before you had sex for the first time? To not be paranoid about any potential pain/stretching. Stretching is going to happen but foreplay is important for it to not be painful.
How do you determine consent has been given? All actions have been verbally discussed beforehand and all parties involved have verbally agreed to them. Any changes in the middle are brought up and agreed upon by all parties.
When did you start masturbating? 20
Do you feel that masturbating helps you discover what you like during sex? Honestly, no. Mostly due to not masturbating until "later" in life by likely the average standard.
How do you define sex? When genitals are stimulated by another's genitals (penis in vagina or ass, vagina against vagina) or when a tongue is used to stimulate the genitals
What is the best sex you’ve ever had & why was it the best sex you’ve ever had? The best sex I ever had was in a hotel during a trip to Disneyland. It was the best I've had because we were able to go a lot longer than we had previously and the positions we tried really worked for us.
How do you define good sex? Good sex is when all parties are both enjoying what is happening and all are feeling good.
Do you have to orgasm in order for it to be considered “good sex”? Personally no. I just need to feel good.
How do you define bad sex? Bad sex is when it doesn't feel good for at least one person involved.
What is the best place you’ve ever had sex? Hotel bed.
Have you come from sex? If you have, do you come vaginally or clitorally? Or both? If you haven’t come from vaginal sex, can you come from oral sex? Can you come from masturbation? I have not come from sex. So far I have only come clitorally and it takes a vibrator to get there. I haven't come from oral sex or from masturbation either. I need to do some more exploring there.
Sex in relationships or sex when you’re single? For me personally, I've only ever had sex when in a relationship so I am biased toward that answer.
How do you stay safe when sleeping with multiple people at the same time? I am personally on birth control so that is one way I stay safe. I also bring in condoms as well.
Do you ask your partners if they’ve been tested? Yes
What form of contraception do you use, if any? I am currently on the pill. I started the pill in 2011 and from April 2014-April 2017 I was on the Nexplanon birth control implant. I also use condoms.
What are some of your favourite things to say in bed? I honestly don't say much in bed. There is a lot of moaning though. And to keep ourselves in the mood, my partner and I share sexy stories with one another.
Would you have a threesome? If so, under what circumstances? I have had threesomes before and I would gladly have one again. Ideally, it would be with someone who myself and my partner knows and have been able to get to know beforehand in terms of what their boundaries are, what they like, what they don't like, etc before moving to the actual threesome.
Do you like role-play? I have enjoyed it in the past but haven't done much of it lately. I need to get back into it.
What’s your BEST sex advice? Make sure everything has plenty of lubrication. And have fun 😉